Soraya Mathias Blog

Deeply saddened and completely taken back, reactions have surfaced from millions across the nation in reference to the shooting death of Florida native Trayvon Martin. Prayers have been said and numerous protests have been held in honor of the 17 year-old boy’s memory, one of the most moving protests being the “Million Hoodie March”.

The march attracted the attention of a massive amount of Americans of all races and gender. And it created a chain reaction amongst U.S. citizens all over. College campuses have been flooded with student protestors and professional athletic teams have also taken a stand in the search for justice on behalf of the Martin Family as the Miami Heat players gathered dressed in hoodies, displaying a profound team effort to honor the cause. The wearing of a hoodie is symbolic as it was what Trayvon was wearing when he was killed. And as a way to show support, hoodies have become apart of many people’s attire. The wave has stormed the Internet as well, with changing of Facebook profile pics and Twitter avatars.

Constant outpourings of emotion have been witnessed from school aged children to those of celebrity status so it is obvious the masses of us have been touched by what has happened to this young man. But after the gatherings settle down, will Trayvon’s story be placed on the back burner, not to be brought up for years to come?

His tragic passing will be fresh in our heads for awhile. But will we continue on with true activism in his name and in the name of others who have lost their lives to false accusations and stereotyping? Or to the hands of those who look exactly like them? Black on Black crime is still alive and well too did we forget?

You see, without continued activism, this strong, powerful message that we are currently trying to send becomes faint over time. People begin to forget about the cause as things begin to die down. And that just opens the door up for yet another tragic loss to occur within our community.

And what are we risking when we do that? Another young life.

We are talking about a teenager who had his whole future ahead of him. He was not a common criminal, roaming the streets looking for trouble. Minding his business was what he was doing. And because an overzealous neighbor of his decided to defy police orders and take matters into his own hands, a family has endured a painful loss.

Zimmerman’s freedom remains one of the most infuriating parts of this whole situation as the arguments that many have posed certainly don’t lean in favor of his actions. But aside from that, back to the real question of: Should we stop at the hoodie march?

The answer is quite clear. It can’t stop at a march with hoodie wearing protestors. And it can’t stop with posted pictures on social media networks. It must stem far beyond that.

We must talk to our children about the ugly truths of our society and how certain people already expect you to behave a certain way because of how you look, talk, walk or dress. We must inform them that this is the country where a woman can be detained by security for flour bombing a Kardashian within the blink of an eye but a man can have every ounce of his freedom after taking the life of his innocent, unarmed neighbor. With that being said, it is most important for them to be watchful of their surroundings.

Sadly, Trayvon’s life was not spared but with a continuous effort to inform our young Black men and women about situations like this and what they could possibly have to deal with or face in this world, hopefully this vicious cycle will be broken.

So much can be said about the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. His powerful speeches have been recited and replayed years after their deliveries, having the same impact on people that they had initially. And his extreme determination to create tranquility amongst people of all racial backgrounds, striving for equality for all mankind has never been overlooked. There is no doubt that Dr. King had a special gift that he continued to use up until his death in 1968.

Although he did not live a long life, the accomplishments of Dr. King were of such magnitude that we dedicate a day to him and what he did for our race.

MLK Day is used as a day to revisit the past and how Dr. King and other civil rights leaders came together to fight for a worthy cause, one that affected our well being tremendously.

As we celebrated MLK Day in various ways though, did you think to yourself: Can we really say that the dream that King had is now a reality?

“Dr. King was a visionary. He thought on levels that many of his peers did not, especially when it came to forming relationships with people of other races. To this day, some of us don’t necessarily believe in some of the things that he preached about but I feel as though what he was striving for was so positive and beneficial to our generation. As far as his dream actually coming true, I think we have made progress but we still have a long way to go”

Arianna B.
Age: 33
Boston, MA

“I believe that the dream is slowly becoming a reality. The election of President Obama led me to say that. What people need to keep in mind though is that his election didn’t 100% solidify progress for Black people as a whole. That’s why I used the word “slowly””

Troy W.
Age: 38
Portland, OR

“I don’t think the Dr. King’s vision has been fully brought to life for many reasons. Yes, we as African Americans have way more opportunities than we once had back in the day. We have better job opportunities now, we are able to receive higher forms of education and we are becoming president of the United States. But despite all those great things, we are still very much prejudged merely because of the color of our skin and are not granted the same things that other races are without having to work extra hard for them. As wonderful as his vision was, there will always be some things that we can’t change”

Maliyah D.
Age: 19
Milwaukee, WI

“Honestly, I think that Dr. King’s dream has been disrupted by the very ones that he was standing up for, African Americans. He wanted us all to live in peace and harmony, love one another. Are we doing that now though? Black on black crime continues to skyrocket and we don’t shy away from an opportunity to tear one another down. King spoke strongly on educational advancement for African Americans yet we are dropping out of high school left and right. Is it me or is something very wrong with this picture?”

Roderick R.
Age: 24
Atlanta, GA

Have we forgotten the struggle?

Or is King’s dream still in the process of being reached?

Entering the world of stardom, it is a well known fact that there are a lot of things that may change about a person. A taste of the limelight can alter personalities turning a golden child into a crazed maniac or an honest, wholesome person into one of the most untrustworthy individuals that ever walked this Earth. Fame and fortune can also lead to changes in a person’s physical appearance too, sending many running straight to the “magic needle” to get those high cheekbones and full lips that they have been dying for.

Fake butts and breasts have been hot commodities for years now, even to the point where no celebrities can catch a break. It is assumed that everything about them is false. It’s gotten so bad that they are now being accused of rockin’ bulging baby bumps, just for the hell of it.

The most recent buzz has been centered on Beyonce’ Knowles and her baby bump. Rumors claimed that the singer has been rockin’ a fake bump to get us. Yeah, Bey is walking around in a hot body suit, pretending like she is expecting a child. Sensing the sarcasm in my voice I’m sure.

Now tell me why this has made more headlines than the O.J. Simpson trial?

Bey’s bump as stirred up so much chatter amongst the good, the bad and the nosey, I can only imagine what will be said when the child is actually born. The rumors will be sure to fly left and right then.

Other celebrities have been called out for falsifications of the figure too. Nicki Minaj’s butt is still under question as we speak. But really, why do we care so much?

Is whether or not Beyonce’ is faking her pregnancy news that’s worth being plastered all over the Internet and television?

Let’s get hype about the things that happen in Hollywood that are actually ground-breaking events.

A chart-topping singer breaking a record for their album sells…News worthy.

An NFL star starting a charity for kids in Africa…News worthy.

True, a lot of people read things for entertainment purposes only. I get it. But you have got to admit that some “news” takes ridiculousness to a whole different level.

As a way to show their originality, various athletes, whether they play sports on the professional level or not, find different ways to stand out amongst their teammates. Because altering of their uniforms is forbidden, some of them will go to the extent of cutting their hair or dying it a bold color. Others may add a couple unique tatts to their face or neck. As if the out of control hairstyles weren’t enough, professional athletes have gone to the extent of changing their legal names too.

Let’s flash back to one of the most controversial pro ballers of all time whose image left a lasting impression in the minds of sports fans.


Former NBA player Dennis Rodman had absolutely no problem at all dying his hair blonde or rockin’ a wig and a wedding gown just for the hell of it. He wasn’t afraid of what people thought about his “awkward” appearances both on and off the court.

A new school version of Rodman has emerged in Lakers forward Ron Artest. Unlike the former member of the “Bad Boys” dynasty, Artest went much further than the outrageous haircuts. He completed dropped his entire name and is now going by a name that many people would say describes him in the least bit: “Metta World Peace”.

So it’s understood that Artest is trying to move away from the roughneck image that has been attached to him for many years now, much as a result of the all out brawl that took place between the Pistons and the Pacers in 2004. And for anyone who saw that fight, knows exactly why this is name change comes with much irony behind it; the word “peace” and Ron Artest don’t naturally go hand in hand. But he is on the road to improvement as far as his attitude is concerned.

Yeah, we get it, Ron Artest wants to prove to the world that he has been working on his bad attitude that has gotten him in trouble one too many times. That’s obvious. But couldn’t we come to that conclusion without him changing his name to “Metta World Peace”? Why not just write a book or give a speech about his growth as a person? That would have summed it all up right?

What’s wrong with keeping the names that you were born with?

Unless you are name is a pure headache to spell out on the back of a jersey or has caused you much embarrassment growing up as a child, why do some athletes feel the need to change their birth names or in some cases, throw it out completely?

Well, it is a free country and no matter how much money you make, everyone is entitled to freedom of expression though it can be heavily frowned upon. So essentially, athletes or anybody else for that matter can do whatever the hell they want to with their names. And reasons could stem from a change in religion too. All situations are different. At the end of the day, we just have to face the fact that everyone is not going to rock a clean cut or carry on the name that their parents gave them. But for pro athletes, how does that affect those who watch them play?

Can you image a commentator or analyst talking about a play involving “Big Baby Smooth” throwing for a touchdown on national television? Or a kid walking around with a jersey on with microscopic letters on the back because their favorite player decided to create a long, drawn out last name? Come on people, really.

The name changing and outlandish hairstyles can almost serve as a distraction from the fans’ take on the athlete’s actual performance too. Spectators are too busy trying to figure out what is etched in the side of a player’s head versus how many points he or she scored in a game.

Wonder who will be next. Maybe a MLB player will have an epiphany and change their name to something “creative”.

Freedom of expression, yeah it may be, but the name changing can get a little foolish sometimes don’t you think?

Headlines began to heavily circulate after one of the most controversial executions of this century took place. 42 year old Troy Davis was accused of the killing of a Georgia police officer Mark McPhail in 1989 and sentenced to death 1991. After serving time in prison, Davis was executed on Wednesday night at 11:08 pm in the state of Georgia. Emotions are still flaring from citizens all over the country, namely those within the Black community. From social media networks to live protests shown on television, people have gone out of their way to show their support for Davis and believe him to be innocent of this crime. Sadly, his life was still set to be taken. Even though Mr. Davis knew that his life was shortly coming to an end, he managed to deliver a few words before his execution took place:

“The incident that night was not my fault, I did not have a gun…I did not personally kill your son, father and brother. I am innocent.” –Troy Davis

So the fate of this man rested in the hands of eyewitnesses’ words with no hardcore evidence to back up their claims?

The death penalty itself can be a very sensitive subject for many people to discuss. Some feel that executioners are playing God because they are determining when a person should die and only God should have the say so on that. And because it is not a reversible process, some feel that it should not even be considered in case someone is indeed found not guilty. Others feel that executions are just practices that we as Americans should allow to take place.

Mixed feelings have surfaced because of the execution of this man who professed his innocence up until the very end of his life.

It’s clear that this was an emotional event but what was the true message that Davis was trying to send in his last words?

Putting some deep thought into it, one could recognize numerous messages that this whole situation is trying to reveal:

Those who call themselves “friends” don’t always live up to the title that they give themselves.

When things are going good, everyone wants to befriend you. Being a member of your clique is the number one goal on everybody’s list. Telling you that they care about you and have your back at all times regardless of the situation, that’s what true friends are for. But what about Mr. Davis’ friends? If he was not the one who pulled the trigger, where is this mysterious person who did that he probably labeled as a “friend”? They surely were nowhere to be found at his execution. He was left to die without a “friend” in sight.

Message: From this, we see when choosing friends and hanging buddies, choose them wisely and know that when they say “through thick and thin” that they won’t leave you taking the blame for something that they did.

Guilty by association is just as crucial as being 100% guilty of a crime.

It was said that Davis verbalized his innocence on numerous occasions, including moments before his death. His claim was that he was not the one who pulled the trigger. Yes, he may not have been the gunman but being associated with the one who took Mr. MacPhail’s life is enough to make you guilty in many people’s eyes.

Message: You may not be the one who actually committed the crime but if you were apart of planning for the crime to take place, then you may be viewed as being equally as guilty.

In a nutshell, people need to understand what is truly going on here. If a man can be executed for a crime that he repeatedly claimed that he did not commit, what does that tell us? Could race have been a factor in how Troy Davis’ case was handled? Could it be that our society places more value on the lives of law enforcement officials than it does on any other American citizen that holds no badge? So many questions are still being asked in reference to this high profile case.

Less than a paragraph in length, Troy Davis’ last words were much more powerful than we think. It was more than just a man leaving the world with his final thoughts. It was a wake up call.

Are you awake now?

Rapper Wiz Khalifa topped the Rap charts with his hit single “Black and Yellow”, a hometown anthem for his stomping grounds of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And ever since, he hasn’t come down from the top spot with his album “Rolling Papers” approaching platinum status. With all the success that Khalifa was seen, he manages to keep it real with the media and his fans. So real in fact that he had no problem at all vocalizing his love for the sticky in an interview with Forbes.com and even went on to encourage his fans to well, “Roll Up”:



"When the venues are not [ok with people smoking weed], we respect it and the fans respect it. And when it is friendly, then people know. The high, I don't think that ruins anything, it makes people chill out,"



"And then when you tell them they can't smoke weed, they find other creative ways to get high that's less constructive."



He went on to say that everybody puts one in the air from time to time, even the wealthy:



"Everybody smokes weed. My music and my fan base is really built off of my lifestyle - and from older people to doctors, plenty of really successful people function off weed."



Something tells me that he would be all for legalizing it…



Is Wiz Khalifa really responsible for the new found Hip-Hop weed heads?



“It’s not like Wiz is the first to promote weed smoking. Snoop has let it be known for years that he smokes weed and has never tried to hide the fact that he did. But I guess Wiz is catching more heat for it because he actually came out and told his fans that it was okay to light one”



-Bryan K.

Age: 23

Newark, NJ



“I am a fan of Wiz Khalifa and really like his music but I am not okay with the fact that he encourages his fans to smoke weed. It’d be nice to see a rapper promo something other than drugs, sex or money”



-Alayna H.

Age: 21

Albany, NY



“Wiz Khalifa is a one of the hottest rappers out right now but really, can we be surprised that he made such a bold statement? I mean he has managed to wife up Amber Rose. What did you expect?”



-Jaylen B.

Age: 20

Jacksonville, FL



“Some of these rappers let anything come out of their mouths. I can’t say that I am shocked that Wiz Khalifa would say something like this to his fans. I’m more so disturbed that he could have potentially started a mass of druggies with his comments”



-Charmaine L.

Age: 27

Hampton, VA



“Let’s be clear, rappers are in no shape, form or fashion God, even though some of them think they are. But the one thing about what their position in our society is that they have a lot of power. Even when they say and do outrageous things, you can almost count on a fan or two to go out and mimic their lifestyles. And because of that, they should be mindful of the messages that they are relaying to their fans”



-Kelvin G.

Age: 31

San Diego, CA



Regardless of whether or not they want to admit it, music artists have a lot more influence over their fans than they think they do.



Why do you think Nicki Minaj has a band of pink wigged “Barbies” following in her every footstep? And why do you think there are hundreds of young Black men parading around in skinny jeans? Lil’ Wayne is the only grown man that could pull that off.



Their influence can be so heavy that whatever they say goes in the minds of the brainwashed and overly loyal fanatics.



Wiz Khalifa is making much noise in the Rap game right now. His flow is undeniable hands down. But openly telling your fans to take a few hits? Not quite sure about that one.

1. Is it just me or does it seem like just about every female artist thinks they must either have a nip slip, pose nude on a magazine cover, gyrate on stage, leak naked photos or give slutty interviews to stay relevant?

2. And am I trippin' for noticing that men--with the exception of Chris Brown, don't have to resort to any of those things?

3. Inquiring minds want to know, when are we going to have penis slips on stage?


4. Everyone wants to know why Fantasia is cool with having a baby by a married T-Mobile salesman named Antwan, but isn't the real question why is an American Idol performing at the opening of some cheap apartment complex?

5. Isn't it a bit hypocritical for Jay Z and Kanye to title their album "Watch The Throne" when neither one of them is sitting on it? So shouldn't they be watching the throne too?

6. Is the check Jennifer gets from "Basketball Ball Wives" big enough for her to actually sell her lip gloss in real stores?

7. Erykah Badu said she'd never resort to hoe sh-t like the other singers do to sell albums. But doesn't walking around butt naked in music videos and a possible reality show constitute as hoe sh-t?

8. Speaking of hoe sh-t, what can Amber Rose really put on her resume besides former stripper, occasional big booty model, and current rapper dater?


9. Is the infamous booty shot the only pose big booty models ever have to learn?

10. Is anyone else finding Facebook best for shoe shopping than actually social networking?

11. Is Tyrese not the perfect example of why celebrities should just deactivate their Twitter accounts?

12. Isn't it ironic that No Child Left Behind is actually leaving children behind, academically?

13. Why aren't any of the major news sources reporting that the black unemployment rate is in the double digits? Are we ready to say aloud that perhaps this is due to the fact that most of us don't have high school diplomas, yet we can easily name 20 aspiring rappers and producers that we know?

14. And is anybody going to admit that the high school drop out rate is most likely due to the fact that most high school students consider rap as a possible career? Is it wrong that I'm considering rap as a possible career each time I pay my student loan bills?

15. If it's true that Nicki Minaj's boyfriend hit her in the face with a suitcase and she still went with him to Disneyland soon after, should she really keep pushing girl power? I mean, getting hit in the face with a suitcase and staying with the guy who did it kind of weakens your girl power credentials.

16. And for Nicki to have such an intense dislike for bums, why is she dating one? Only bums hit women--with suitcases.

17. Is anybody else sick of reading about that fake 70% of black women are single "statistic" somebody made up two years ago just because they knew most people were too lazy to do the research themselves? And since the Census Bureau says more black men are actually single than black women, when are we going to see those same pesky "start dating outside your race now articles" that we see damn near everywhere targeting black women?

18. Wasn't Lil' Kim cuter before the surgery?

19. Does anybody else hear "For The Love of Money" in the background every time President Obama approaches the podium for his "recession" speeches?

20. Aren't open relationships an oxymoron?

“Sell out”…two words that some brothers and sisters hear all the time. You know, the ones who date outside of their race or the ones who choose to go to school instead of hanging out on street corners all day and night. Being called a sell out is not foreign to these people, especially not to the ones who have sought higher education and run successful businesses. The question is though, …Why? Why is it that these African Americans are coined as the ones who sold out?



Maybe it is because they do not carry themselves like the typical Black person.



They took on too many characteristics of White people I assume?



Honestly, this whole “acting black” thing puzzles me because when you open the dictionary, there is no clear cut definition for “acting black” or “acting white”. These are sayings that society generated to make us believe that they exist, thus we continue to frequently use them.



Well then, could it be because the sell outs do not want to live up to the “lovely” stereotypes that are placed on us?



Well, let’s look at some of them:



“All Black people are more concerned about what’s on their bodies rather than what’s in their heads.”



Hats off to some of our big spendin’ brothers and sisters who would rather drop massive amounts of dollars on what they are wearing than buy a $10 book to read; they bring much validity to this statement.



“All Black people are loud and obnoxious.”



I am not even going to go there.



“All Black people are lazy and uneducated.”



This just brings me back to the original point that these are not stereotypes we would want to uphold.



So why be mad that the educated and successful chose to go the other route? Is it more so because they don’t live up to the standards of Blackness that some arrogant group of negroes put together themselves?



Oh yeah, I forgot we all have to measure up to a creditable level of Blackness even though our skin color is blatantly obvious to the world.



So what is the real reason for the name calling?



Quite frankly, I think it is a mixture of all of these things.



As much as some of us say that we despise the stereotypes that are associated with our race, we sure as hell try our hardest to live up to them.



And that is when the successful and educated are bashed repeatedly.



They are trying to let go of those views and shine some much needed light on the positive things that African Americans are doing within their career fields, community, entertainment, politics, and athletics. We have come a long way as a people, thanks to those successful “sell outs”. But yet and still, they are criticized for doing good things and not feeding into the ignorance.



Ask yourself this: Was Martin Luther King Jr. a “sell out”? Was Rosa Parks a “sell out”?



Their hard fought efforts in the Civil Rights Movement broke down barriers for our generation. They had to educate themselves on certain things and rub elbows with the “White Man”, as some of us like to put it, in order to do so.



I think some of us get “selling out” and “excelling” confused.



Going above and beyond, exceeding the low expectations that are set for us is not by any means selling out. It simply proves that we can be more than what society tells us we can be. We have no limitations when it comes to what we are capable of doing, as individuals and as a race as a whole.



“Sell Outs” start movements. “Sell Outs” make significant changes. “Sell Outs” do the unexpected, the unthinkable and aren’t afraid to step outside of the box.



So would you rather be a “sell out” or buy into the stereotypes?

After he got called out by mogul Donald Trump and many others for his “hidden” birth certificate and “hand out” to Harvard, President Barack Obama is yet again on people’s bad side. And as expected, it’s for a silly reason, even sillier than normal. He did the unthinkable y’all; the most down right awful thing he could have ever done as the leader of this country…He invited a rapper to a poetry night at the White House. Rapper Common Sense, known as Common for short, appeared at the event to the dislike of many, which led to yet another Obama bash session.

Hold up, wasn’t everybody just singing this man’s praises for announcing the demise of head Al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden?

He is catching massive amounts of heat from politicians all over the whole ordeal. But this is rather puzzling to me as he is not the first president to bring a Hip-Hop artist to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

If you recall, Former President George H. W. Bush Sr. brought the popular N.W.A. rap star Eric “Eazy-E.” Wright to the White House during his term back in the early ‘90’s. God rest his soul, but Eazy E.’s flow was far from clean and any real Hip-Hop head clearly knows the difference between an Eazy E. lyric and a verse that Common would spit. And it is extremely significant:

“I look into my daughter's eyes, and realize that I'm gonna learn through her/The Messiah, might even return through her/If I'm gonna do it, I gotta change the world through her.”
–Common “Be”

“And me, I found a purpose why I MC/Inspire a young world to be greater than me/I fall awake and I dream a song/So the little shorties will sing along.”
-Common “Changes”

Oh goodness, cover your child’s ears from these “hard core” lyrics folks (Insert sarcasm). I guess they were pissed off about a line from the poem that he read where he referenced a “burning Bush”. Well, if you take a moment to read the Bible then you would know that the Burning Bush that he could have been referring to was the one that stood before Moses; not actually burning the former president. Furthermore, poetry can be interpreted in many different ways. Boy, it’s amazing how people twist things to their own liking.

But of course, in the eyes of a close minded individual and one who has no real concept of the Rap industry and the lyrical delivery that various artists use, they wouldn’t understand. To them, all rappers, even if they grew up in a household where their parents had Ph.D.'s (shout out to the late Dr. Donda West, mother of Kanye West) are either criminals or drug dealers. So for President Obama to even bring someone like this to the White House was just such a horrible thing to do.

I mean damn, can this man catch a break?

First, he was labeled an immigrant, with claims that his birth certificate was kept a secret from everyone. Now, he is supposed to be some heavy supporter of thugs on the mic and letting them roam around the White House premises?

And the way that people reacted to it…ridiculous. All the screaming and shouting from reporters, analysts, political figures and their supporters was damn near comical. Are these people serious? You would have thought Obama and Common took somebody out judging by the comments and reactions from people.

I ask this out of all seriousness, what the hell is the real problem here?

From the very second this man stepped foot into the White House, he has been ripped to shreds by so many people. And has been held to outrageous standards and expectations that no one could achieve without being given several years time to do so.

Before I end, let’s get some things straight here: Firstly, Common is about as much of a gangster rapper as I am so let’s kill those foolish comments immediately. No, his lyrics aren’t always squeaky clean but the majority of what comes out of this man’s mouth is uplifting and influential. Secondly, Common has been to the White House on numerous occasions prior to his latest visit so why the issue now?

This all goes to show that no matter what he does, President Obama will always get overly criticized for the decisions that he makes. Even when this all dies down, I am sure that someone else will find Mr. President at fault for something else. Even in the midst of a good doing, he will still get called down for something, well, stupid.

It’s time for people to get off the Obama bashin’ bandwagon and do something more productive with their lives.

When it comes to relationships these days, it seems as if we will take counsel from just about anybody willing to give it. We're so confused about love, men, relationships; hell even marriage, that we'll happily take any advice, as long as it permits us to forsake using our good old common sense and not do the one thing that we know that we should. It's human nature to seek out a little assistance in our personal lives and our pursuits in love, but only an idiot would seek out relationship advice from someone who hasn't demonstrated that they even know how to be in a relationship. And for that record, only a woman who truly doesn't want to experience real love or satisfaction at the hands of a good man, would seek the conventional and just plain tired advice from a woman who thinks the worst of all men.

Why is it that so many women seek out man haters for assistance on finding a good man? It makes as much sense as trying to book a flight one day before the start of your vacation...nine times out of ten, you won't get anywhere.

Now before you tell me that it's not your girls that I'm talking about or your current situation, let's examine the typical beliefs and foolishness that the man haters live by and speak on a frequent basis:


1. "All men are dogs."


The Truth: No, all the men she has dated willingly are dogs.


2. "Never give a man 100%, because he will never give you 100%."


The Truth: Only children and immature adults believe that a relationship can work without the full efforts of both individuals in the relationship. How old are these people?


3. "It's smarter to just keep men around for random booty calls."


The Truth: Studies show that extremely promiscuous women tend to stay single. But don't shoot the messenger.


4. "Sex is better than love."


The Truth: This really means that she hasn't been in love before. Pardon her ignorance.


5. "It's human nature for men to cheat."


The Truth: No, it's human nature for boys to cheat. Know the difference between men and boys.


6. "In order to get over your last relationship, you must hop into another one fast!"


The Truth: Sure, if you don't want to stay in that relationship very long.


7. "That man is too nice to be with."


The Truth: Nice men are usually the men we end up marrying, hence the phrase, "Nice guys finish last." You can waste your time if you'd like, but eventually, you'll pray to God for another nice guy.


8. "There's nothing wrong with a little drama in a relationship, drama means you have something real."


The Truth: Drama kills relationships, period. Meanwhile, a few problems here and there give couples a chance to grow closer.


9. "I don't care what he does! I don't need a man anyway. Money over everything."


The Truth: This really means I'm lonely as hell, so I'll just brag about my money instead.


10. "Men are horrible, and that's why none of my relationships have ever worked out."


The Truth: Out of all the breakups she's had, she has no blame in any of those? Not buying it.

Okay ladies. It's time for a much needed, and very much worthy, rant on the war that is taking place between skinny women and my bigger sisters. Now I have sat back and been quiet on the subject, but I think it's time to address this whole topic from top to bottom, 14 to 0, and thick to bony. As always, I say and write everything in love, but I am an advocate of the truth and some much needed ass kicking when necessary. And I think it's time to kick the ass of every skinny and thick woman who felt the need to attach a body type to "realness." Sisters, have you lost your minds? I think you have, and I'm actually quite ready to return it back to you, at no cost. Just give me a couple minutes, and I might be able to remind you about what true beauty really is. And it's not as size obsessed as you are.


Let's be clear. We as a society place too much emphasis on the physical. Both men and women spend more money on the outside than we should, and at the same time, we spend even less and less time working on the inside. We may be beautiful and well dressed fabulous people on the outside, but on the inside, we're ugly, hideous insecure people with nothing but fabulous clothes and silly mantras (ie. Real women are big, skinny women are more fun) to hide behind. And while it may sound good to slap a fancy label on your situation and uplift a group of women who have been considered on the lower end of beauty, is it fair to put down the other women who can't relate to the ideal size you speak of?


Women come in all shapes, sizes, shades, temperaments, backgrounds, and ethnicities. All women aren't created equal, and neither are our bodies.

Some of us have bigger hips, while some of our have bigger butts. Some of us have gorgeous breasts for days, while some of us would be happy with a B cup because our double D's are killing our backs. We all lack in some areas, and some of us have plenty in others.

We're so versatile in beauty, that we have to rotate seasons for what body type is "in."

It used to be skinny runway chicks, at size zeros, with gorgeous faces. Not it's all about ghetto booties and full lipped sisters. In a decade or so, we'll be praising skinny chicks again, and bigger women will begin to question themselves like they did before in the dark age of the runway obsession.

And since fashion and beauty changes with the seasons, maybe we should just learn to love what we already have, and no longer feel the need to hate ourselves when our body types aren't in style.

If it's two quotes I hate, it's these:

"Real women are big."

"Real women are skinny."

Says who? All the skinny and big girls? How immature and beneath them.

Here's the truth, so take it, and engrave it to your soul:

Real women have no specific body type. Some of us are skinny, some are thick, while some are beautiful big girls. We vary in body types, complexions, ethnicities, and even personalities. But there is one thing we all have in common, and that is the apparent fact that we love ourselves just the way we are. So no my confused and insecure dear, real women are not big or skinny. Real women love themselves and the skin they're in.

And since we love ourselves just the way we are, body type and all, we don't feel the need to put down other women who don't have the same body types. I mean, if you're so fabulous, why on earth do you have to label someone else as unfabulous to feel fabulous?

In the midst of all your temper tantrums against other women of different sizes, you've actually downgraded from self confident, to undercover insecure and borderline spiteful bitch. What the hell is beautiful (or real) about that?



I'm ending my rant with this...we're all God made, and beautifully crafted. If that ain't a reason to love yourself, and appreciate the variety of others, then I don't know what is. I love you all, but please, get it together. Realness has, and always will, come in a variety of sizes. Love it and embrace it, and be your own unique self.

It was God given.

It's no secret that prostitution has been a plague in our country for centuries. As a society, we continue to turn a blind eye to the industry that treats and sells women like property, as cash is exchanged for sexual favors and erotic services. In many cases, women are prayed on by pimps who act as their masters, and who have no bouts with morals, and as a result, threaten them by violence and even death to stay in a business that continuously places women in harm's way at the hands of sick perverts with black cards, and even lower tier customers who can't even afford to pay all of their bills.

While we may have some knowledge of the dark dealings of the prostitution industry, most of us have no clue that the statistics paint a different type of picture. The epidemic hits closer to home than we originally believed, since most prostitutes are young black women. There are young black prostitutes as young as 13 years old, working the streets, and forsaking a normal life of education and family due to empty promises of love and protection at the hands of misleading pimps who start off as loving boyfriends.

In most instances, prostitutes come from broken homes, are usually fatherless, and eventually become runaways in search for the things that she was not able to get from home. Vulture type pimps see the lost young women as meal tickets, and decide to woo them with false claims of romantic bliss and shelter.

A romantic relationship soon develops once the runaway has let down her guard, and she allows herself to love a stranger in a way that is unhealthy, and extremely dependent. The relationship soon becomes abusive, and the young woman is told that she must work the corners, or lose her life. Afraid of death, she chooses the street corners, and becomes a slave to a game that doesn't play fair, and usually leaves women abused and discarded like trash.

Many wonder how does any young woman get to this point of vulnerability?

When we discuss the father factor, many women who are fatherless state that the absence of their fathers has not greatly affected them in any way, but for every lucky woman, there are several unlucky runaways.

A father's role in a young woman's life must never be minimized.

There's a role that a father plays that is essential to the development of a woman. With many women, a protector is crucial to her loving environment. When most women don't have that, they seek that and love in another man. This other man is usually a lover, and this eventually leads a woman to a life of prostitution.

It is devastating to see so many young women affected by such an endangering lifestyle, that was forced, and hard to escape. As we ache for those affected, we also may wonder what we ourselves can do to battle this epidemic, and save the little black girls who may be lost, but now found on the street corners.


Be a mentor.

Life is insane, and we're all struggling to make ends meet, as the economy continues to dwindle. We have our own set of issues, and because of all of this, we aren't always motivated to think of others, or even offer assistance to those in worst conditions. But in between school, the 9 to 5, or running your own business; set aside time in your schedule to mentor someone.

In many cases, all these young girls needed was someone and anyone to care about them. You can do that every week and provide insight to a young woman who lacks encouragement. You could save her life, and keep her from heading down a path that ultimately leads to destruction.

Dedicate Yourself to Preserving the Family


You can make a difference and join the battle against prostitution by making sure that your children have a strong family unit around them that is loving, protective, and encouraging. Make sure that they have both a mother and a father in their life, or make sure that they have role models that can lead them in the right direction if one parent must be absent. Every child needs some one to look up to and guide them. When they lack those things, they will look for them in the most dangerous of places.

"Everyone always talks about how unattractive Tiny is, and how she doesn't deserve T.I. because she's not pretty. But my thing is, what does looks really have to do with any of this? Both of these people seem to be into the same things, and have the same issues...drugs! If anything, both need help. I really want things to work out for them because there are children involved. It's not helping the kids to have a felon for a father. Yeah, he's rich, but it won't matter if he's not at home because he's in a prison somewhere." - Malia T, age 30, Washington D.C.

"It really seems like Tiny will accept just about anything T.I. puts her through. I live in Atlanta, and I've always heard rumors that T.I. likes threesomes and Tiny allows it because she doesn't want to lose him. I don't know how true that is, but it does seem like she may have low self esteem. It took T.I. so long to marry her, and now they both might be in some serious trouble. I think Tiny is a sweet person and she deserves so much better." - Triecie, age 23, Atlanta, GA

"I don't mean to be harsh, but both are idiots. T.I. just got out of prison, so why on earth would you be cruising a high profile strip in LA with illegal drugs in the car? It was just stupid all around. And this isn't the first time they've been busted with drugs. I hope for the sake of their kids that they get their life in order. They have too much to lose to make such poor decisions." - Layla, age 27, Richmond, VA




"It's no doubt in my mind that if Bristol Palin was a sister, that she would have been labeled as a disgrace, and caused her mother her political career. It's such a double standard how a white teenage mother gets so much praise, but the Obama girls get criticized for just about anything. Bristol is like the face for teenage pregnancy, and getting paid well for it. If the Obama girls did the same thing, I guarantee you Obama's political career would have ended a long time ago." - Melanie, age 20, Flint, MI

"Oh please, since when have the Republicans ever played fair? We all know that Sasha and Malia couldn't get knocked up without ridicule. But in a way, it only works in their favor. They'll amount to much more than Bristol since the standards are higher for them. Yeah, it sucks, but in a way, it's a good thing too. Bristol will just be a teenage mother who got the boot from Dancing With The Stars, while Sasha and Malia will end up with degrees at some prestigious college somewhere, running Fortune 500 companies." - Dee, age 26, Charlotte, NC





"Yes! Lil' Kim's career is over. She was dope back in the day, but now she just seems bitter and childish to me. Yeah Nicki bit some of her style, but why is she putting so much energy into dissing Nicki Minaj? It's stupid. Nicki's getting feature after feature and awards, but she's [Kim] throwing shade in interviews and talking about homage. And the little music that she is making sucks! I'm disappointed in Kim, but maybe if she didn't go after who's hot right now, she'd be in a better position." - Kelly, age 32, Houston, TX

"Nicki has surpassed Kim without even having an album. When the numbers come out for Pink Friday, Lil' Kim will want to crawl under a rock and pray for better lyrics. Minaj is the future of Hip Hop, rather people like it or not. She's young, and she has room to improve and deepen her image. And I believe she will do both, while Lil' Kim remains stagnant." - Andrea, age 21, Decatur, GA

"In 5 years we won't even know where Nicki Minaj is. She's overrated, and clearly had to study Kim and Missy Elliott prior to walking out in public. Kim ain't washed up, she just needs to get her priorities in check. Even though Minaj is garbage, there's no need to waste time dragging her name in the mud."- Yvette, age 32, Raleigh, NC

"Okay so because Nicki is the only female rapper in the limelight, it has to stay that way? That's dumb to me. There can be other female rappers making music while Minaj is in the game. No, Kim is not washed up, and none of the other female rappers are washed up either. If they come back and make good music, I'll support any of them. I think it's stupid that these young kids only feel it should be one female rapper at one time. In my day, we had several to choose from. And that's really what Hip Hop needs. Music needs diversity!" - Kimberly, age 38, Chicago, IL


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Let’s face it; Bristol Palin wouldn’t be praised if she was black.

By: Taren Vaughan

Hence the title, you already know where I am going with this one. But trust that I won’t totally tear down Bristol Palin. However, I will state the obvious here. And that is that this whole situation surrounding the former Governor of Alaska’s daughter would be a tad bit different if she was a couple shades darker.

For over two years now, Bristol Palin has had a healthy dose of the limelight with her mother Sarah Palin. Not because she was running for a political office but because she became the mother of a new baby boy. Becoming a teenage mother has virtually launched a career for her, potentially leading to a reality show. Now let’s think on this for a second: Bristol has a baby and what does she get: A slew of TV interviews and becoming the poster child for teen abstinence for starters. And to put the icing on the cake, a spot on ABC’s next season of “Dancing With The Stars”. Essentially, this young lady’s claim to fame was because she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend and conceived a child? Oh yeah I forgot, and her mother is a political “icon”.

Oh but if Bristol was a little brown girl, the reaction of her teenage pregnancy would have been quite different. There would have been no TV appearances for her, at least not positive ones. And all of the media press she would have gotten would have been as positive as the kind that Tiger Woods got for swinging his “golf club” in unfamiliar “greenways”.

Now what if Sasha or Malia Obama were to get pregnant at a young age? Since they have not hit puberty yet, let’s fast forward here for a minute. Because at their current age someone may argue that they are too young to draw that kind of comparison to Bristol Palin. What if one of them was to get pregnant and have a baby out of wedlock? We already know the answer to that question. All hell would break loose. And they would be labeled everything but children of God. It would be hung over their head for years, even if they did prove themselves to be fit mothers and raised wonderful children. Who cares? The only thing that would be looked at is the fact that they got knocked up at an early age.

The overall treatment of Bristol Palin was been pretty exceptional compared to that of other teenage mothers. So what kind of message does this send? It’s okay to get pregnant at age 17 as long as you’re a pretty little white girl? That is wrong on so many different levels. Bottom line is no teenage pregnancy should be glorified based on race or anything else for that matter. The situation period is not favorable for any young girl to be in. It’s hard enough being an adult mother let alone one that is barely 18 years old.

When it all comes down to it, we as black women just can’t get away with some things.
And us becoming teenage mothers just so happens to be one of them. Oh, that’s a pure sin in white America for a sister. With the society that we are living in, not even President Obama’s presence in the White House is going to change the way that people view us and our black brothers. Our faults are amplified that much more than whites. It’s a shame that it has to be this way. But that is the harsh reality of it. Teen mothers shouldn’t look to get the “Bristol” treatment because it probably won’t happen.

The Feminist Movement has created a new creed of women: the fearless and unconquerable independent woman. Let's be clear, it's commendable for any woman to take on the challenges of succeeding on her own, paving her own way, and taking care of herself. Who wouldn't celebrate a woman who refuses to depend on a man to come and save her from life's many obstacles, but instead saves herself? But there also comes a point where women may mistake independence with forsaking men all together. And that's the biggest mistake any independent woman could ever make.

The independent woman may be immune to defeat, but is she really immune to love? And if she is, why would she want to be?

Now there are some independent ladies that have had horrible experiences with the other gender. They let their guard downs for men who were unworthy, and gave their hearts away to men who had no plans of returning the romantic gesture.

Many sleepless nights and disappointments turned this woman's heart cold, and a surge of bitterness leaves her unable to love and unable to trust. It's understandable as it's painful for a woman to get her heart broken against her better judgment, but it doesn't mean that men are somehow irrelevant to the equation of better days.

In love, we will pick the wrong men before we pick the right man. All of our disappointments, no matter how painful, are teachable moments in love and relationships. The independent sister must not forget that she too needs love, and it's hard to ever get love if you view men as the enemy, and allow bitterness to consume you and have you thinking that you could live without romance.

The independent woman just wants to be strong and survive in a cold world full of people that she can't technically depend on. It makes sense, but it's easy to mistake strength for something totally different: cowardliness. There's a lot of independent cowards out here labeling themselves as independent women. What does strength mean to you?

There's two ways to look at strength: survival through the unexpected twists and turns of life or to shut out people or circumstances in life that you can't control. To fully live, is to understand that we cannot try to control every aspect of our lives. We can decide to endure all that comes, but in no way can we control all that comes. And real strength comes from dedication to enduring all, not picking and choosing what to avoid.

It's easy to mistake the two since strong women feel that they must have total authority over their own lives. But it's your own view of independence that will determine the possibilities that you open or close yourself up to. Simply put, it all comes down to an attitude.

For me, independent means going to school, getting a degree, and succeeding in my career on my own since there's a 60% chance that I won't get married. It doesn't mean I don't need love. I am just prepared just in case Happily Ever After doesn't happen. Men shouldn't feel so inferior that they think we don't need them, and women shouldn't be so confused to think we don't. We both need each other. It's human nature.

Besides, God made Adam and Eve...and both were essential to mankind.

Live your life and don't be afraid to rely on yourself, but don't let independence hinder you from experiencing a love like no other. To love, is to fully live. So live abundantly, my independent sisters.

Fantasia's Homewreckin'...



"I am so disappointed in Fantasia. She's one of my favorite singers, and this whole scandal involving this married man really turns me off to her music right now. I guess the thing that really bothers me is that she continued to pursue the man even after she found out that he was still married. This just makes Fantasia look selfish and very hypocritical. For a woman who sings about heartache so much, you'd think she wouldn't want to cause it."

- Linda J.
  Age: 26
  Charlotte, NC


"Fantasia is just going through what plenty of women go through publicly. Not that most of us would rather wreck homes than find a single man, but we've all loved someone we probably shouldn't have. There's a good chance that she will wake up like most of us do, and then there's a chance that she'll have to get hurt before she sees the bigger picture. It's unfortunate for both women involved, but I really feel bad for the wife."

-Nicole H.
 Age: 21
 Lithionia, GA

"I guess I'm the only one that can't find a trace of love anywhere in this ghetto soap opera. To me, it just looks like Fantasia is whipped by a pretty face and good sex! She will regret risking so much for so little. Both women can do so much better and need to. This whole situation reminds me of Britney Spears and Kevin Federaline. Remember how in love they thought they were? Now they are divorced and Britney had to work really hard to get her career back on track after all of that. I think we as women can be so blinded by what we think is love that we will be willing to sacrifice our career and even hurt other women. We have got to start looking for love in better places and circumstances."

- Tracey L.
  Age:19
  Columbus, GA


Montana Fishburne's Porn Debut as a Result of Idol Kim Kardashian's Success...




"The whole situation with Montana Fishburne is just pathetic. And it's not pathetic because a grown woman wants to enter porn even though her father is a famous actor, it's pathetic because so many other young women admire her decision. I come from a generation of women who work hard and got a great education. Our role models reflected those beliefs. We looked up to women like Oprah Winfrey, Coretta Scott King, Shirley Chisholm, and other movers and shakers that didn't result to sex tapes and prostitution. But these young girls look up to Kim Kardashian, Superhead, Katt Stacks, and now Montana Fishburne. Something is truly wrong with that."

- Jackie T.
  Age: 32
  Brooklyn, NY


"I'll admit (with much shame) that I looked at the sex tapes, and it was just really disgusting. Not sexy at all. Montana's body is so worn out and it's clear that at just 19 years old, this woman has had more sexual partners than necessary. It's such an unhealthy place for someone so young, but it may take a real breakthrough for her to realize that she is headed on the wrong path. I pray her father will get through to her. She could end up dead if she doesn't slow down."

- Melissa D.
  Age: 24
  Greensboro, NC



Antoine Dodson Becomes An Overnight Celebrity For Coonin' on the Local News After Saving His Sister From Rape...

"When I first saw the video, I thought it was hilarious. I did not imagine that it would blow up the way it did. Antoine himself became a bigger story than the attempted rape. It was all over Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, as well as the major urban blogs. When I saw the song that was made in honor of Antoine, I realized then that we as a people were being laughed at. I think it's up to us to no longer promote the ignorance and pressure the media to find better images to use of African Americans."

- Shayla P.
  Age: 20
  Orlando, FL

"I knew it was going to blow up bigger than it needed to. With a black president in office, I think sometimes other races take comfort in seeing ignorance from African Americans. It's kind of like it's a subliminal reminder that we are still deemed as an ignorant race of people. And Obama himself won't change that view. It is up to African Americans to stop promoting ignorance that involves our own people. and we must no longer willingly assist in the destruction and the exploitation of our people."

- Nicole A.
  Age: 25
  Washington, DC



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