Soraya Mathias Blog

Performing in front of sold out crowds and making cameo appearances in movies and TV shows, music artists are always down to showcase their talents in various arenas. Singer Mary J. Blige has done all these things and more as she has continued to be a dominating force in the industry. But now “The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul” is under fire for her appearance in one of Burger King’s latest commercials for their new Crispy Chicken Snack Wrap. And needless to say, some people were highly upset while others well…found their anger to be quite ridiculous.

“I’m a Black woman and I by no means was offended by this commercial. All she was doing was singing about a product that just so happened to be chicken. I don’t see what the fuss is about. If she was up there singing about shackles and chains, maybe my thoughts would be totally different.”

Alicia C.
Age: 23
Silver Springs, MD

“Come on are people really serious right now? Where is the racism in this commercial? The real problem with this commercial was the singing. I love Mary J. Blige just like the next fan, but that was what I found bad about the whole thing, not the fact that it was being so “disrespectful” to Black people because it obviously was not.”

Jennifer M.
Age: 33
Salem, OR

“So tell me, how is this any different from the Black actors and actresses that we see rapping on the McDonald’s commercials? Was that the product of a racist’s mind? I didn’t see people getting all outraged about that and those commercials have continued to air. If a white, Hispanic or a person of any other race was singing about chicken, I guess it would be okay then. The race card can not be pulled in every situation and this is one where it doesn’t need to be.”

Latisha E.
Age: 25
Yonkers, NY

“I may be reaching a little bit here but I think the commercial was very distasteful due to the fact that she was singing about chicken. It is a known fact that chicken is coined as “black food”, right along with watermelon so to see Mary J. Blige participate in something like this is feeding into the negative stereotype that is placed on us already. And God knows, we don’t need anyone else doing that.”

Ashlee T.
Age: 27
Boston, MA

The commercial was quickly snatched off the air after the heavy criticism that it received. And was followed by a statement from the singer, assuring fans and critics that what they saw was not “MJB” certified:

"I agreed to be a part of a fun and creative campaign that was supposed to feature a dream sequence. Unfortunately, that's not what was happening in that clip."

"I understand my fans being upset by what they saw. But, if you're a Mary fan, you have to know I would never allow an unfinished spot like the one you saw go out."

Was it really that serious?

Take a look for yourself:



Is the anger justified?

After sweeping the Grammy Awards this year, Singer Adele has continued to remain a hot topic in the music industry. Her powerful vocals, full of soul, have earned her six grammys and album of the year, setting her apart from many other vocalists in the industry. She is what many people feel has been missing in the world of music, pure raw talent with no extra sound effects in the background.

Accompanied by music or complete silence, Adele’s natural gift shines with perfection.

As she has created quite a name for herself, the 23-year old singer has informed fans that she will be releasing another song shortly for their listening pleasure before the end of the year. And to add to that, she is also looking to collaborate with other artists. As many artists may come to mind, she is hoping to get into the studio with one in particular by the name of Mrs. Carter.

Adele has made it known that she is a huge fan of superstar diva Beyonce’ and has followed her career since she was a young girl. And the chance to pair up with one of the greatest performers of this era is a dream of hers that she is hoping will soon be a reality:

"I adore Beyonce. I''ve been listening to her since I was about 11. I think her work as an artist and a singer is enviable in terms of the length of her career and how she's grown and grown"

Beyonce’ and Adele on the same track…I feel a hit coming on don’t you?

To be coined a true diva is something that must be earned. That title is not just attached to any female with a cute face and a few dance moves under her sleeve. An abundance of talent this person must have, along with a set of pipes that are unmatchable to any ones ever heard of. Of the old school R&B crowd, many names are notably mentioned from Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, Chaka Khan and Patti LaBelle. This list however would not be complete without one woman, whose powerful vocals still go untouched…Whitney Houston.

An angelic voice and a striking natural beauty, she had it all.

Her voice was incredible and pierced the very soul of those who listened to her music and who witnessed her live performances. One of her most memorable live performances was when she sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl XXV in 1991 between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Giants.



To this day, this has been said to have been the best rendition of the National Anthem ever.

And it still has the same effect on people that it had years ago when it was first sung by her.

With her sweetheart image, Houston gained millions of fans over the years, along with releasing a countless number of awards for her chart-topping songs. Her self-titled debut album Whitney Houston was released in 1985 and became the best-selling debut album by a female artist during that time. The album also made Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

Success is what she continued to find as Houston won a total of 6 Grammy Awards, 30 Billboard Music Awards and 22 American Music Awards. Some of her classics include “I Will Always Love You”, “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)”, “How Will I Know” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”. Not straying far from her gospel roots, Houston also received much applause for her singing of "I Love The Lord" featuring the Georgia Mass Choir.


Aside from her musical stardom, Houston graced the big screen, making her way into the film industry, starring in “The Bodyguard”, “Waiting Exhale” and “The Preacher’s Wife” alongside Academy Award Winning Actor Denzel Washington.

Often imitated but never duplicated, Whitney Houston was the epitome of a songstress.

And she has had a major influence over those who have a true love for music like she did:

"I’m still in shock about her passing. It’s so hard to put into words. Whitney Houston was my childhood. I grew up pretending to be Whitney. She made girls who were singers and even those who weren’t want to be like her. An entertainer at heart she was. And even through her trials, you could always see the beauty in her. If it wasn’t for Whitney, there would be no Beyonce’, Jennifer Hudson, Brandy or any of the other young stars. The 80’s produced icons. And she was one that no one could compare to. The music industry as a whole suffered a huge loss but more importantly, her family did. My heart goes out to them. I hope that she knew how much she really touched her fans and how much we will miss her."

Krystal R.
Age: 27
Los Angeles, California

"Whitney was a beautiful woman with one of the most gorgeous smiles I've ever seen. Her voice was angelic and uniquely incomparable to any other female artist I've heard. My most memorable performance was her 1991 National Anthem rendition at the Superbowl. The way she sung it in my estimation has never been sung like that before. It was technically pitch perfect and I was in total awe and that is still my reaction today. She was definitely before her time and it's sad that her life ended the way it did. It should serve as example of what happens when we consistently make damaging decisions in our lives. Fame and fortune can never fulfill the void of emptiness and lack of peace. She will be missed."

Jeremy M.
Age: 27
Whitsett, NC

Despite the ups and downs she faced throughout her lengthy career and her untimely death, Houston will always be remembered for her one of kind talent and ability to touch the souls of her fans with timeless hits. She has influenced numerous acts in the music industry and the legacy that she leaves behind will continue to live on for years to come through her family, friends and fans.

“Every Woman” is what she was and will always be; a sweet spirit that touched the hearts and souls of those who understand the essence of music. Instrumentals she did not need for her voice alone was more than enough to grab your attention and keep it.

Thanks to you Whitney Houston for leaving your everlasting footprint in the world of music.

The life of an industry diva can be quite hectic at times. It’s almost unheard of for them, or any other star for that matter, to have one pathway that they are sticking to. Singers are not only going for Grammys anymore. They are striving for Academy Awards too as many of them have made their way into the acting game. When they choose to add to their resumes, it often leaves many of them with little free time on their hands for romance.

Singer Kelly Rowland admitted that her heart has been stolen but not by a handsome face and nice body. She has been swept off her feet by her career, which has kept her from settling down with a significant other.

“Most of the men find me too busy. Which is a real problem, because I like being busy,”

Droppin’ the mic for a man doesn’t seem to be something she is willing to do right now.

Rowland went on to say that she is quite content with devoting the majority of her time to her career.

“At the moment I'm in love with my job. But that doesn't bother me [because at least] my job doesn't nag.”

Rowland’s plate has been staying full here lately as her latest album “Here I Am” continues to get much airplay. She is also set to be one of the judges for the United Kingdom version of “The X Factor”.

Whenever she does have a chance to step back out on the dating scene, she knows exactly what she is looking for though.

“He has to be real and most of all he has to have confidence.”

Talented, educated and self-motivated…These are just a few words that describe our “Belle of the Month” Mrs. Ci Ci Foster. From writing her own books to dishing out relationship advice to those in need of it, Ci Ci has made her presence known in numerous areas and continues to take on more as her career progresses. Being the multi-talented person that she is, Ci Ci wears many hats and has told UBM about how she manages to balance all of them.

Urban Belle: Ci Ci, I see that you are a native of the Chicago area and you relocated to Los Angeles in the late 2000's to further pursue your career. How was that transition for you? Is Los Angeles like night and day compared to Chicago as far as the residents and living environment?

Ci Ci Foster: The transition was definitely a challenge. Moving the entire family across the country where we knew no one was a bit scary, but we were able to quickly acclimate ourselves into the LA lifestyle, and it’s so different from Chicago where I spent my entire life. LA has parties and events every night of the week, so there’s always something going on. In Chicago, people are more accustomed to working hard during the week and partying on the weekends. What I miss most about Chicago are the people. It’s one of those very friendly places where strangers will greet you as you pass them on the streets. That rarely happens in LA. I love both places in a different way.

Urban Belle: As a graduate of Chicago State University, you received your bachelor's degree in psychology. Was that always what you desired to get your degree in? Or had you considered majoring in theater, film or another related area?

Ci Ci Foster: Initially, I did want to get a BS in theater, but after giving it deep thought, I actually decided to take on theater as a minor to have something to fall back on. At the time, I was more of a person who always played it safe. If I had to do it all over again, I would have just went for it full speed ahead. If you don’t plan on failing, you wouldn’t need anything to fall back on.

Urban Belle: "Sunny Rain" was the debut novel that introduced Ci Ci Foster to world of published writers. How long did it take to complete it? What was that feeling like of having your very first book officially published?

Ci Ci Foster: It took me at least 5 years to complete Sunny Rain because I kept putting it down and then I’d pick it back up. Once I actually got serious about writing it though, things moved pretty quickly. I remember the first time I held my book in my hands, I cried. It was like all my hard work was finally starting to pay off. I’m still amazed at how great everything turned out.

Urban Belle: I know that was a wonderful feeling. In addition to being an author, you are also a relationship advice columnist. When giving your advice, do you ever feel like your own relationships (and even current marriage) were under close watch from your readers? Are people really looking to see if you follow your own advice?

Ci Ci Foster: I think anytime you offer people advice on relationships the first thing people are going to want to know is what is your marital status, and that’s a valid question. I mean, I won’t take relationship advice from anyone who doesn’t have their own house in order.

Urban Belle: That is so true; a lot of people feel that way. Giving relationship advice, even to a close friend or relative, can be challenging at times. Has there ever been a time when you were asked a question that you didn't quite know how to answer?

Ci Ci Foster: Not yet, but I’m sure as I do this long enough, someone will have a question that stumps me. I am fine with being honest and admitting when I don’t know something.

Urban Belle: In the entertainment industry, we see many husbands and wives working together like Beyonce' and Jay-Z and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. How has it been for you working with your husband with the production of "Digg Into Books"?

Ci Ci Foster: Working with my husband on Digg Into Books has definitely brought us closer together. I’d be lying though if I said every moment is bliss. LOL! There are times when we don’t see eye to eye on something and then go home and argue about it some more. But overall, working with him has been a great experience. We support each other 100% and challenge each other to produce the best work possible.

Urban Belle: Sound like you all are a great team. Now your documentary, "I Heart Hollywood", is about the struggles of 14 women that are attempting to break into the industry. What event or people inspired you to do this?

Ci Ci Foster: I became inspired to produce this documentary after moving to LA and seeing how hard it is to break into this industry. My production partner, Mashari Bain and I met through a mutual friend and discovered we had similar goals. The I Heart Hollywood project was our way of saying we don’t have to wait on Hollywood to hire us, we can create our own projects.

Urban Belle: Being a member of Cali Connect, you get the opportunity to interact with other authors, some of whom share your same passion for the craft of writing. Have you ever considered starting an organization of your own?

Ci Ci Foster: No, I’ve never considered starting my own group because I couldn’t commit the time needed to make it successful. I’ve met some really great people through the Cali-Connect group, and I’m looking forward to collaborating with them in the future.

Urban Belle: Working with at-risk teens, I'm sure you hear a lot of different stories about what these girls have gone through in their young lives. Other than giving educational advice, what is your overall message to these young girls?

Ci Ci Foster: I always try to open young girls’ eyes to the fact that they are more powerful than they know and that they can do anything they put their minds to. When young girls tell me they want to be a lawyer, I tell them to think about owning the law firm. It’s really important to teach kids to dream big and follow those dreams.

Urban Belle: I totally agree with you on that. Those who dream big are often the ones who find long term success. Back to your writing, the title of your upcoming book "Hollywoodn't" has me intrigued already. Can you give us a snippet of what to expect from this read?

Ci Ci Foster: Hollywoodn’t is about a rising actress named Nile who gets blackmailed by a scorned ex lover, Steve. He is fresh out of jail, armed with a sex tape of her, and things get really crazy when he stops taking his meds. Hollywoodn’t is so different from Sunny Rain, but it still has the “sexy drama” theme. I think the readers will enjoy it.

To learn more about Ci Ci and her upcoming projects, Click here.

The HBO series Sex And The City had women all over the globe glued to their TVs. Whether it was keeping up with the unpredictable relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big or hearing about the "friendly" yet stylish Samantha Jones’ sex tales, the show took hold of viewers’ attention and never let it go. It created such a buzz that a genius mind thought it would be an instant hit on the big screen and it was, so much that a sequel soon followed.

The fabulous four were not the only ones putting out a successful show as another group of women became some our favorite “friends”.

Since its very first airing back in 2000, Girlfriends has made a name for itself as the Sex And The City for the sisters. Picking up where the popular 90’s show Living Single left off, Girlfriends lasted for eight seasons making it one of the longest running sitcoms ever. Aside from the record-breaking numbers that it drew in, the one thing that many people applauded the show for was its realism; the realism behind the characters and the things that they went through.

As fanatics were not at all looking forward to its last episode, it still remains a topic of conversation, even amongst those who were once apart of the cast.

The former Joan Clayton, the motherly one of the bunch, has spoken out about her willingness to pursue Girlfriends beyond the sitcom arena.

On her recent appearance on The Wendy Williams Show, Actress Tracee Ellis Ross eluded to the fact that she wouldn’t mind taking the show a step further:

“I would love to do a 'Girlfriends' movie. I want to see Joan get married,”

She also longs to see Toni and Joan rekindle their damaged friendship too. It sounds like Joan is very much alive and well in Ross’ heart.

Be that as it may, Ross knows that the ultimate decision is not up to her:

“I think the fans have to ask for it,”

Could she be on to something here? Does Girlfriends have enough clout to make it to the big screen?

Reed Between The Lines may have her hands tied at the moment but I doubt that she would turn down the opportunity to do a movie like this.

Although many believe that the Hip Hop game is not what it used to be lyrically, there is one thing that seems to remain consistent amongst the new age artists of today…attire. The style of dress for a rapper is pretty typical nowadays: over-sized, iced up chains, baggy or now thanks to Lil’ Wayne, skinny jeans, fitted hats and a pair of fresh 1’s to officially make them a complete fashion package, to some. Luckily, there are those who add something extra to their look, often times looks that can’t be duplicated even by the most fashionable person alive.

Cee Lo Green, member of Goodie Mob and Pop/Rock Neo-Soul group Gnarls Barkley, is a person that could never go overlooked. His raspy, yet soulful sound has laced many of tracks. But his fashion sense is something that always seems to have crowds buzzin’ on the regular:


Even if you aren’t running to the store to find this colorful bird outfit, I guaranteed that that image is forever sketched in your head.

Cee Lo is not the only one that likes to be extreme when it comes to his clothing.

Look at Andre 3000.


The colorful bow ties, plaid bell bottoms pants, furry coats and the freshly pressed hair is not the typical look for Rap/Hip Hop artists of today; we are used to seeing the thousand dollar diamond necklaces hanging from their necks. Now Andre 3000 didn’t come into the game with this image; hell, he didn’t come into the game with the name he has now. But he and Big Boi, his close friend and the other half to the group Outkast, let it be known early on that they are not afraid to test the waters of uniqueness when it came to their music and their style of dress.

Grabbing the attention of your fans by not only your lyrics but your appearance too has a lot of positives to it. Andre 3000 hasn’t put out an album in awhile now but has anybody forgotten what he looks like and his extraordinary abilities on the mic? No. That’s the beauty of being creative.

Now here’s where being too different brings about the ignorance in folks.

Questions about a person's sexuality begin to pop up out of nowhere. There were a few occasions where Andre 3000 spoke on how people started to question whether or not he was gay or on drugs because his dress game was so elaborate compared to those of other artists. Is that so huh? The last time I checked, being a homosexual goes much further than what meets the eye.

His reaction to these comments: He still kept doing his thing, and quite well might I add.

Andre 3000 has seen much success with ‘Kast and as a solo artist so how much did his bob cut really affect? Not much of nothing.

I see no harm in artists, whether they are male or female, adding some originality and spice to their wardrobe. Clearly, the originality as far as song content goes is lacking HORRIBLY when it comes to the majority of the rap songs that are out now, even boiling down to how rappers sound on a track. So we need something to help us distinguish the difference between artists.

These two artists have proven that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being the “Outkast” and having people think that you are “Crazy”.

It all boils down to what you bring to the table lyrically, despite what kind of hairstyle you may be rockin’ or what you have on your back or feet.

It’s about what is coming out of your mouth…the lyrical content. And who’s to say what one should be wearing when they do so.

Daring to be different has its negatives but the perks are much greater; artists have the chance to embed their own coined style in the minds of their fans and their critics.

Everybody loves Raymond…Usher Raymond that is. And that is very evident as he has stolen the hearts of millions of fans worldwide. The chart topping R&B/Pop artist has been lighting up the stage for over 19 years now and appears to have no plans to take a break from the music scene. Releasing album after album filled with classic songs that still get much airplay even years after they dropped, the 32 year old continues to outshine those half his age.

He has the fame. He has the fortune. But there is one thing that is still missing from his life. And that is a female companion.

After the ending of his two year relationship with former TLC member Rozonda “Chili” Thomas, Usher didn’t give up on his quest for love as he later married Tameka Foster in 2007. Two children later, the couple headed to Splitsville in 2009, leaving Usher single again. He can’t seem to get over that two year hump. Now, several years after his divorce, Usher is back on the dating scene again, in search of something that many of us women are looking for and can’t seem to find…a companion. Not a boo or jump off but a real companion.

He has hinted that he has his eye on a few people but has yet to drop any specifics. When one young starlet's name was mentioned as a possible match for him, Usher claimed that the relationship he had with her was platonic, well at least for now:

“Rihanna is beautiful. But she's not necessarily on my hit list - she's like my sister right now. Or cousin - we have kissed.”

No Rihanna on the radar at the moment but who knows, things could change.

It’s obvious though that a stunning outward appearance is not the only thing that he is in search of. Usher is diggin’ a little deeper; he is looking for someone to bring out the best in him:

“Companionship is important - every man should have a woman to make him better..."

After all his ups and downs with women, it sounds like Mr. Raymond is looking for a true soul mate and not someone just to have by his side on the red carpet. Much more than a big butt and a smile will be needed to steal his heart.

It’s a wonder if any other male celebrities are in search of the same thing that Usher is…

After going on what appeared to be a fun filled trip down in Miami, Florida, Singer Kisean “Sean Kingston” Anderson’s time on the waters of Palm Island was cut short this past Sunday after a his jet ski crashed into the Palm Island Bridge around 6pm that evening.

Kingston was not alone on the jet ski as he was accompanied by a female passenger. She managed to escape from the incident with minor injuries, none of which appeared to be very severe. As for the driver, that was said to have not been the case. Sean Kingston’s rescuer Coast Guard member Jonathan Rivera, who discovered the two victims and the jet ski that they were on in the water, said that it was clear that Kingston needed immediate medical attention.

Jimmy Vega, a man who was present with Rivera, described the singer having a distinct gash under his chin and Rivera added that he was “puking up blood out of his mouth”. It was also said that he did not have his life vest on when found in the water.

Although his condition at that time would probably lead people to think that he was unconscious and unable to communicate, Rivera claimed that Kingston was verbal and responded to him even though he was severely injured.

The latest on the accident is that Kingston is stabilized and has been moved from the trauma unit to ICU.

The pop singer is most popular for his hit song “Beautiful Girls”.

Sticking to one area of the industry is not something that most musical artists have a tendency to do. Once they have established themselves as creditable talent to their fan bases and fellow artists alike, they often venture off to do other things. And for this West Coast Hip-Hop icon, he is about to start up something that no one probably ever imagined him doing.

Rapper Snoop Dogg has tried his hand at a number of things outside of the Rap game. From the television series Father Hood which showed his life as a family man to his roles in Big Screen films like Baby Boy and Training Day, Snoop Dogg does not shy away from any idea that is brought to his attention. And he has always seemed to be very open to going where no one else has gone before.. Although he has covered some of the same business grounds as moguls Puff and Jay-Z, he is about to step into some territory that no other Hip-Hop cat has successfully tried thus far.

He is on the verge of creating his own news network on his YouTube channel. Out of all that he has done, The Dogg Father seems to be more than ready to get this project started ASAP:

“I am excited to launch another project for my fans to get up close and personal with me. Being the social media guru that I am, the Ggn: Dogg News Network gives me a chance to be innovative and create my own original programming.”

The Double G News Network will cover various issues that most other news networks cover including current events.

Move over CNN?

Fantasia,

Sister, I won't rip you to shreds because that's not my style. However, I believe that truth is like cough medicine; bitter to taste, but good for the soul, and can heal the body deep down to the bones, if taken in the right doses. I recommend a bitter dose of reality, not bitter because it's being shoved down your throat from a professional and mean spirited blogger, but because the truth will hurt you deep to the core. But trust me when I say it's for a greater good and ultimately a greater you.

As women, we see marriage as the last destination before Happily Ever After. We've taken many trips to get to our paradise, and we have no plans of abandoning a sinking ship even if our husband is no longer willing to endure dark waters. It's clear that Mr. Cook might not have been in a happy marriage, since he was so willing to stray; but my dear...he was indeed in a marriage regardless of the condition in which you became a willing participant in an affair.

It may seem as if Mrs. Cook was holding on to a fleeting husband, but how are you any better in this situation? For if you look at the situation with a magnifying glass, you'll see that you too are guilty of holding on to something that you shouldn't have: a married man.

What on earth is so appealing about a man who would step out on his wife and kid for some sideline sex? Regardless of the feelings that you may have developed for this two-timing "pretty boy," while he is married, you are nothing more than some sideline action. And as a woman, why have you settled for the role of an on and off side piece when you're good enough to be more?

And my dear, what on earth is so lovable about a man who has no problems lying to you about the state of his marriage and treating you like a rich sideline hoe? He sexes you and spends a little time with you, and in exchange you purchase him gifts such as motorcycles and fancy getaways? Why? Is it because deep down inside you feel you must pay for that type of affection?

Fantasia, you do realize that there are real men out here that don't require your bank account for romance? They are successful, have their own, and have no secret wife that will take your ass to court and sue you for everything you have. But instead, you opted for a lying and two-timing "pretty boy," who couldn't make what you make in a year in a decade. And then he has the nerve to make you pay for his foolishness.

Mr. Cook played you royally and made you believe that he would leave his wife for gifts and lavish vacations, but no matter what was spoken on those nights of adulterous love making, he never went to the court to file any divorce papers. You were never meant to be anything more than convenient sex and a one way ticket to riches he never earned.

All the time you accepted this behavior and made the wife your ultimate enemy. In the end, a conversation with his wife would have revealed that this man wasn't even worth it. You could have walked away once you realized he wasn't being honest about the true nature of his marriage, but instead you decided to go along and hope his unhappiness would eventually turn into a divorce. Instead of going to the court to end a marriage, his wife is going to the court to save a marriage--and take every dollar you have to your name. By the end of this, all you will have is hope and a butchered reputation.

Hope is the fuel to many disastrous relationships and the root of suffering among women who are greater than the garbage they chose to willingly jump into--for the sake of "love."

Why settle for hope when you can have some security? A married man can't give you security, especially when he wasn't able to give it to his wife. He promised through thick and thin, but instead creeps out occasionally in exchange for your money and sex...and that's the man you want to be with? A man that can't even honor his vows?

No matter how you look at it, nothing good can come out of garbage--trash will always be trash and lies can't possibly evolve into truths.

The media had a field day and the same man who put you through all this hell was willing to leave you just as he found you: desperate and alone.

The pain was so deep that you no longer valued your life...but reaching for pills is the coward's way to putting an end to a situation that was not worth all you worked for.

Instead, you should walk away and choose your dignity over a cowardly man who clearly has no knowledge of what marriage is and damn sure isn't capable of loving anyone but himself.

If he loved his family, he would have never stepped out. And if he loved you, he would have filed some divorce papers. He did neither, but he's living the life and taking lavish vacations with the former American Idol herself. Do you see where I'm going with this?

I ask you woman to woman, was it worth it?

Because I can't think of a man alive that is worth my life. Or one that is worth my career, my peace of mind, and my overall happiness. And a good man wouldn't make me sacrifice any of those things--not even for the best sex I've ever had.

But maybe you're the type of woman that has to learn your worth through heartbreaks and cowardly men who truly have nothing to offer you, but a life of misery. And if that's the case, I hope you'll wake up before you lose everything you have worked so hard to get.

I have a feeling that you won't see this for what it really is in enough time to save your legacy, and that's the biggest shame of them all. Oh how the mighty have fallen, simply because she never knew her true worth, but instead looked for it in a man.

I wish you wisdom, healing, and real love my sister--and that's love for self.


-Amanda Anderson

Editor-in-Chief
Urban Belle Magazine

By: Taren Vaughan

Why are we so fascinated with mediocre women who got lucky off sex tapes and dating rappers?

By: Amanda Anderson

It all began with a sex tape. The infamous (and lackluster) sex tape that made Kim Kardashian go from a nameless flunky of Paris Hilton's, to a D-List celebrity that became a quick favorite for the gossip blogs to plaster all over the internet, with equally uninteresting gossip bytes. A no-talent star was born as she played the role of the ex girlfriend who videotaped her sexual romp with a has been R&B star that had mysteriously leaked to a porno company. While she walked away with an easy $5 million from the incident, she actually got what she really wanted more than a few millions: stardom. This pathetic route to "importance" has fooled many little black girls and black women into thinking that this is somehow someone that they should imitate, a woman to be praised, and a path that could possibly generate the same "success." They too hope to lie on their backs and become famous millionaires and date promiscuous NFL players just like Ms. Kardashian and her bratty siblings. What's so great about this lifestyle, I'll never understand besides the money, but to many it's the sweetest thing they'll never know.

I'm just trying to understand when superficial talent-less reality star chicks became the role model type.

Now if you think Kim Kardashian is no real threat to society besides boring us with her tired love life full of professional athletes and spats with just as equally purpose-less fame whores (see Amber Rose), Lawrence Fishburne's daughter Montana Fishburne's recent remarks regarding her claim to fame via cheap porno flicks suggest otherwise. Here's what she said when asked why she decided to pursue porn:

"I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape."

Is this what it has come down to? Emulation of some of the most worthless women Hollywood has even seen?

Do we not know of any other role models in the community who didn't have to result to sex tapes, an unhealthy plastic surgery obsession, and an unhealthy need to date promiscuous professional athletes?

What happened to praising women who really made a difference to the world by their intelligence, strength, and touch of class?

Most importantly what happened to us? Why on earth are we praising ex-strippers who screw rappers for a living verses women who have made their own legacy based off their drive and willingness to work hard in their respective fields?

Why are we uplifting women who clearly love nothing more than unearned fame, expensive shiny things, and rich men with nasty reputations?

We'd rather praise Amber Rose for being passed around in the industry as a bald headed eye candy like skeezer than praise the sister who started her own business so she could be in control of her own destiny.

Instead of watching CNN and keeping up with the world around us, we prefer Keeping up with the Kardashians as if they are interesting enough to have their own show in the first place.

And then when someone doesn't agree that Kim Kardashian is fabulous, some crazed lunatic will quickly tell you that you are hating.

Yes. Everyone should be jealous of a woman who purchased her booty, I mean beauty, has no real skills or talents, and made her first fortune off of a sex tape she made with Brandy's little brother.

I'm just oozing with jealousy.

Meanwhile, I went to college, graduated with honors, and started my own business before the age of 30. Instead of lying on my back for success, I got up off my ass and got a good education. And then I worked hard to put my dreams in motion, while Kim was giving Ray J a blow job in hopes of landing on E Network.

And there are plenty of black women like me. We would never place our future in the hands of any man, no matter how dope his big sister's music used to be back in the day. To us, it's just too risky to give someone that much power. And most importantly, we love ourselves a little too much to sell ourselves short and die with a legacy that was built on a raggedy ass sex tape.

Now you can balk and admire any woman as you see fit, but I'm reserving my praise for the women who love themselves enough to create their own paths. And when you really think about it, those are the only type of women worthy of praise, and the only ones that your need to imitate could actually lead you to a life of earned success and respect.

Your entire life will be shaped by the ones that you choose to admire.

So who's your role model?