Soraya Mathias Blog

Performing in front of sold out crowds and making cameo appearances in movies and TV shows, music artists are always down to showcase their talents in various arenas. Singer Mary J. Blige has done all these things and more as she has continued to be a dominating force in the industry. But now “The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul” is under fire for her appearance in one of Burger King’s latest commercials for their new Crispy Chicken Snack Wrap. And needless to say, some people were highly upset while others well…found their anger to be quite ridiculous.

“I’m a Black woman and I by no means was offended by this commercial. All she was doing was singing about a product that just so happened to be chicken. I don’t see what the fuss is about. If she was up there singing about shackles and chains, maybe my thoughts would be totally different.”

Alicia C.
Age: 23
Silver Springs, MD

“Come on are people really serious right now? Where is the racism in this commercial? The real problem with this commercial was the singing. I love Mary J. Blige just like the next fan, but that was what I found bad about the whole thing, not the fact that it was being so “disrespectful” to Black people because it obviously was not.”

Jennifer M.
Age: 33
Salem, OR

“So tell me, how is this any different from the Black actors and actresses that we see rapping on the McDonald’s commercials? Was that the product of a racist’s mind? I didn’t see people getting all outraged about that and those commercials have continued to air. If a white, Hispanic or a person of any other race was singing about chicken, I guess it would be okay then. The race card can not be pulled in every situation and this is one where it doesn’t need to be.”

Latisha E.
Age: 25
Yonkers, NY

“I may be reaching a little bit here but I think the commercial was very distasteful due to the fact that she was singing about chicken. It is a known fact that chicken is coined as “black food”, right along with watermelon so to see Mary J. Blige participate in something like this is feeding into the negative stereotype that is placed on us already. And God knows, we don’t need anyone else doing that.”

Ashlee T.
Age: 27
Boston, MA

The commercial was quickly snatched off the air after the heavy criticism that it received. And was followed by a statement from the singer, assuring fans and critics that what they saw was not “MJB” certified:

"I agreed to be a part of a fun and creative campaign that was supposed to feature a dream sequence. Unfortunately, that's not what was happening in that clip."

"I understand my fans being upset by what they saw. But, if you're a Mary fan, you have to know I would never allow an unfinished spot like the one you saw go out."

Was it really that serious?

Take a look for yourself:



Is the anger justified?

After sweeping the Grammy Awards this year, Singer Adele has continued to remain a hot topic in the music industry. Her powerful vocals, full of soul, have earned her six grammys and album of the year, setting her apart from many other vocalists in the industry. She is what many people feel has been missing in the world of music, pure raw talent with no extra sound effects in the background.

Accompanied by music or complete silence, Adele’s natural gift shines with perfection.

As she has created quite a name for herself, the 23-year old singer has informed fans that she will be releasing another song shortly for their listening pleasure before the end of the year. And to add to that, she is also looking to collaborate with other artists. As many artists may come to mind, she is hoping to get into the studio with one in particular by the name of Mrs. Carter.

Adele has made it known that she is a huge fan of superstar diva Beyonce’ and has followed her career since she was a young girl. And the chance to pair up with one of the greatest performers of this era is a dream of hers that she is hoping will soon be a reality:

"I adore Beyonce. I''ve been listening to her since I was about 11. I think her work as an artist and a singer is enviable in terms of the length of her career and how she's grown and grown"

Beyonce’ and Adele on the same track…I feel a hit coming on don’t you?

By: Amanda Anderson-Niles

As we embark into a new season, we also embark into new fashion trends. And with each red carpet premiere for the blockbusters of the summer, fashion addicts are left to ponder on which looks will stick. And as of late, pajamas have made several appearances, with the help of one of music's biggest fashionistas, Rihanna.

The Editor's Take:

I try to be open minded with fashion, but I can't see how wearing pajamas on the red carpet can be deemed stylish. Even in a pair of stilettos, Rihanna looks like she just hopped out of bed. I don't care which big name designer signed off on these rags, I'm still highly disappointed that we've come to the point in fashion where rocking pajamas in public is acceptable.

I miss the short, black hair, cute short cut rockin' Rihanna. Yeah she may be back to black tresses, but her style has been missing since the Chris Brown fiasco. I'm hoping she'll cut off the silky weave and bring back the fierceness we all loved.

Until then, not even "Rebel Rihanna" can pull off pajamas...

By: Amanda Anderson-Niles


“The biggest mistake most women make is believing they need closure to a bad relationship. The truth is that once you discover a man no longer wants you, that’s really all the closure you need.”


I think I have lost count of the number of times I have heard a woman say she needed closure from the same man that dogged her the majority of the relationship. I myself have sought closure from someone I probably should have never dated in the first place.

Why do we do this?

I have a few guesses, but I would have to say the problem stems from our overcommitment to men who have never bothered to commit to us. We do this occasionally as an attempt to work things out with people who have no desire to put any work into their half of the relationship. We should walk away happily when we realize that we have been involved in an unhealthy relationship. But instead, we need to hear why we've been treated this way, when it doesn't matter why but the fact that we were mistreated should be enough to move on.

Another problem is our sense of entitlement. After putting up with so much disrespect from one person, we feel they finally owe us some respect for our decision to stay way too long. But they don't owe us what we owe ourselves, and that's knowing better, and eventually doing better.

We simply feel entitled to the wrong things. Instead of feeling that closure is owed to us for our devotion to someone we had no business being with, we ought to feel entitled to being respected the first moments we embark in any relationship, and throughout the relationship. Simply put, we ought to feel entitled to a good man! So much so that staying with just any man won't do.

Why do we wait until the last moment to make demands?

I'm a true believer that when a man wants a woman, he's going to do what it takes to keep that woman. So if we've made our needs clear and he still won't oblige, it's quite clear that he is not trying to keep you. And by you hanging on to a man that isn't trying to keep you, you're loudly confirming without words that your needs and happiness aren't really important. And it's hard to make anything work out with a man who realizes you'll give up your own happiness just to keep him around.

It's best to require any man that has an interest in you to treat you right from the beginning, anything else and you'll have to settle for closure.

Deeply saddened and completely taken back, reactions have surfaced from millions across the nation in reference to the shooting death of Florida native Trayvon Martin. Prayers have been said and numerous protests have been held in honor of the 17 year-old boy’s memory, one of the most moving protests being the “Million Hoodie March”.

The march attracted the attention of a massive amount of Americans of all races and gender. And it created a chain reaction amongst U.S. citizens all over. College campuses have been flooded with student protestors and professional athletic teams have also taken a stand in the search for justice on behalf of the Martin Family as the Miami Heat players gathered dressed in hoodies, displaying a profound team effort to honor the cause. The wearing of a hoodie is symbolic as it was what Trayvon was wearing when he was killed. And as a way to show support, hoodies have become apart of many people’s attire. The wave has stormed the Internet as well, with changing of Facebook profile pics and Twitter avatars.

Constant outpourings of emotion have been witnessed from school aged children to those of celebrity status so it is obvious the masses of us have been touched by what has happened to this young man. But after the gatherings settle down, will Trayvon’s story be placed on the back burner, not to be brought up for years to come?

His tragic passing will be fresh in our heads for awhile. But will we continue on with true activism in his name and in the name of others who have lost their lives to false accusations and stereotyping? Or to the hands of those who look exactly like them? Black on Black crime is still alive and well too did we forget?

You see, without continued activism, this strong, powerful message that we are currently trying to send becomes faint over time. People begin to forget about the cause as things begin to die down. And that just opens the door up for yet another tragic loss to occur within our community.

And what are we risking when we do that? Another young life.

We are talking about a teenager who had his whole future ahead of him. He was not a common criminal, roaming the streets looking for trouble. Minding his business was what he was doing. And because an overzealous neighbor of his decided to defy police orders and take matters into his own hands, a family has endured a painful loss.

Zimmerman’s freedom remains one of the most infuriating parts of this whole situation as the arguments that many have posed certainly don’t lean in favor of his actions. But aside from that, back to the real question of: Should we stop at the hoodie march?

The answer is quite clear. It can’t stop at a march with hoodie wearing protestors. And it can’t stop with posted pictures on social media networks. It must stem far beyond that.

We must talk to our children about the ugly truths of our society and how certain people already expect you to behave a certain way because of how you look, talk, walk or dress. We must inform them that this is the country where a woman can be detained by security for flour bombing a Kardashian within the blink of an eye but a man can have every ounce of his freedom after taking the life of his innocent, unarmed neighbor. With that being said, it is most important for them to be watchful of their surroundings.

Sadly, Trayvon’s life was not spared but with a continuous effort to inform our young Black men and women about situations like this and what they could possibly have to deal with or face in this world, hopefully this vicious cycle will be broken.

Desperation for titles turns into settling for role playing.

By: Amanda Anderson-Niles




I'm a newlywed. I'm still fresh into this whole marriage thing, and if I know anything, it's that I don't know enough. There has to be literally thousands of books that promise to offer the best in marriage and relationship advice, but marriage is just one of those things you have to experience first to even come close to getting it...and somewhat understanding it.

The success we've always had running this magazine has been a rawness. We weren't necessarily preaching, but more so revealing our past mistakes in hopes to make someone a lot smarter than we were at the time of the error. But in every relationship article was true emotion. And I've become emotional to society's blatant disrespect to marriage. Since reciting my vows at the altar and proclaiming to share my life with this one man until death, I now wince at anyone who treats their boyfriend as husband.

Now this isn't about me feeling like I'm somehow better due to my newly obtained nuptials. But I'd be a liar and a very naive one if I didn't acknowledge the ultimate disrespect many seem to have regarding marriage.

You see, I for the life of me could never understand how any man who hasn't made the ultimate commitment deserves to be treated as the king in my household.

I simply refused to treat any man like my husband if he wasn't my husband. I'm sure my mentality isn't the most attractive to any man who isn't interested in committing, but rejection and disinterest from the wrong kind of men is a good thing.

I made up in my head during my single days that I wasn't going to be cooking, cleaning, and screwing a man who wasn't really mine...all mine.

No, playing house was never an option for me as I never saw the benefits in catering to some man that could easily walk away at any moment.

Call me crazy, self righteous, boogie and even arrogant; but I wasn't going to act like a wife to any man until I was a wife.

And it turns out that strategy worked out for me eventually as now I am a wife. I'm pretty sure my husband realized while we were dating that me caving to the pressure of our society's obsession to become "wifey" just wasn't a reality for me. I wasn't going to settle for becoming wifey when I knew I could become wife.

This is the same reason I think ride or die chicks are delusional. The only man we should be riding or dying for is our husbands. Not some knuckle head who still refuses to commit to you and refuses to make choices that will benefit your relationship because he rather show his boys how real he is or how many women he can still keep on the side.

Dating is merely a series of auditions. And until engagement or marriage, no man deserves an ultimate commitment from you. No, I'm not saying you should be bagging several men while dating that one brother you really like, but I am saying that women shouldn't feel obligated to stay and work things out with men we aren't married to.

Yes ladies, we should walk away from any man who hasn't shown us any real reason to stay. That boyfriend title just isn't great enough to warrant our unwavering devotion.

Out of anger, some of you will read this article and tell yourselves (and perhaps me) that marriage isn't even that serious, yet I'm sure if you sat back and observed you'd be able to see many people who have chosen to imitate its benefits. It's always the people who attempt to mock and devalue marriage who are involved in their own imitational versions of it.

That man who told you he never wants to get married wouldn't oppose a live in girlfriend (wifey) who was cooking, cleaning, and screwing him the way he wanted...would he?

There is nothing wrong with cooking your significant other a nice dinner from time to time, but know that your purpose in life is not to provide the benefits of marriage to men you are not married to. We as women can't continue to complain about our difficulties in getting married if we are pretending to be married to every man we date. Even fear of loneliness should not keep you from being aware of your true position in dating.

Know your worth and leave the role playing to the wifeys.

Promises…What is the true meaning behind them? Are they verbal agreements that we make amongst ourselves that we must follow through with?

“I promise I’ll pay you your money back”

Or are they things that we say only because they sound good coming from our mouths?

“I promise I will change my ways”.

As the true definition of a promise may vary from person to person, there is one thing for sure that we all know about them. And that is that just like a glass plate hitting the floor, they can be broken, sometimes by those that we least expect. Relatives that share the same family tree with you on down to childhood friends that you have known practically all your life can be the very ones that are in the business of breaking promises. Sadly, a lot of times, it is the closest ones to us that can let us down the most. It starts to make you feel like everyone is like that. Makes you feel like no one is to be believed when that “promise” word begins to surface. That may go for the people that you deal with down here on Earth but it surely doesn’t apply to God.

God is one who doesn’t take promises lightly. If He makes one to you, then you can believe that He will follow through with it. Now He may not show up as soon as you get up off your knees from praying or as soon as you call out His name but He will show up. And when He does show, the answer to your questions and the blessings that He has in store for you will be revealed.

People in your life, or even those that you barely even know, are not perfect beings despite what they or you might think. Flaws they do possess, mistakes they will make, and promises just might be things that they can’t seem to hold on it to save their lives. Although this is true, we must not confuse that with the promises of God.

Our Father is very serious about these things called promises. They are not things that He takes lightly at all. He does not make them to break them. He makes them to keep them. To God, promises hold truth and value. His are true and will be brought to the light to those who keep the faith in His doings and listen to His voice.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

Hebrews 13:5

This promise He will always keep.

First impressions…how crucial they can be. One slip of the tongue, strand of hair out of place or a fail in wardrobe selection can make that first date your very last. Your appearance along with the things that come out of your mouth are your life lines. And knowing this, we try our hardest to be on point with every single thing, no matter how much it cost or how long it takes to do.

And when it comes to this, some of us as women can get a little out of control with it, transforming into a person that we ourselves have never even seen before; a character that is completely different from our normal selves.

Just that morning, you had shoulder length hair, a simple manicure and a light coat of make-up. Date time comes around and things change with the quickness. Hair is flowing down your back, nails are a couple inches longer now and make-up is caked on extra thick. Seeing you all dolled up this way, surely a man would be impressed and want to see you again and maybe even take it a step further. Much props to you for that but did you ever stop to think that he may be expecting the exact same replica of you on a regular basis?

So now you go from weavin’ it up for one night to having to keep it up on a consistent basis. Taking numerous trips to the nail salon is now apart of your agenda. And no more stepping outside of the house bare faced with a pair of jeans or sweats on. Dolled up at all times you must be. At this point, you have to ask yourself, who has this man fallen for, the real you or the spokesperson version of you? Could he accept you in pure form, without all the extras?

I’m sure we all can agree that first impressions hold significant value. There is no doubt about that. But they are important for a reason that many of us miss. It’s true that they are what can make or break you on a first date but who says you can’t still be yourself in the process?

If you are not a woman who likes wearing added hair or spending hours on end in a nail salon, then don’t. Wearing make-up not your thing? Then rock your natural glow. Sometimes we get too hung up on impressing a guy that we lose our true images in the process.

The best first impressions are always the realest ones. And that is what he should be falling for.

To be coined a true diva is something that must be earned. That title is not just attached to any female with a cute face and a few dance moves under her sleeve. An abundance of talent this person must have, along with a set of pipes that are unmatchable to any ones ever heard of. Of the old school R&B crowd, many names are notably mentioned from Mariah Carey, Aretha Franklin, Gladys Knight, Chaka Khan and Patti LaBelle. This list however would not be complete without one woman, whose powerful vocals still go untouched…Whitney Houston.

An angelic voice and a striking natural beauty, she had it all.

Her voice was incredible and pierced the very soul of those who listened to her music and who witnessed her live performances. One of her most memorable live performances was when she sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl XXV in 1991 between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Giants.



To this day, this has been said to have been the best rendition of the National Anthem ever.

And it still has the same effect on people that it had years ago when it was first sung by her.

With her sweetheart image, Houston gained millions of fans over the years, along with releasing a countless number of awards for her chart-topping songs. Her self-titled debut album Whitney Houston was released in 1985 and became the best-selling debut album by a female artist during that time. The album also made Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

Success is what she continued to find as Houston won a total of 6 Grammy Awards, 30 Billboard Music Awards and 22 American Music Awards. Some of her classics include “I Will Always Love You”, “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)”, “How Will I Know” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”. Not straying far from her gospel roots, Houston also received much applause for her singing of "I Love The Lord" featuring the Georgia Mass Choir.


Aside from her musical stardom, Houston graced the big screen, making her way into the film industry, starring in “The Bodyguard”, “Waiting Exhale” and “The Preacher’s Wife” alongside Academy Award Winning Actor Denzel Washington.

Often imitated but never duplicated, Whitney Houston was the epitome of a songstress.

And she has had a major influence over those who have a true love for music like she did:

"I’m still in shock about her passing. It’s so hard to put into words. Whitney Houston was my childhood. I grew up pretending to be Whitney. She made girls who were singers and even those who weren’t want to be like her. An entertainer at heart she was. And even through her trials, you could always see the beauty in her. If it wasn’t for Whitney, there would be no Beyonce’, Jennifer Hudson, Brandy or any of the other young stars. The 80’s produced icons. And she was one that no one could compare to. The music industry as a whole suffered a huge loss but more importantly, her family did. My heart goes out to them. I hope that she knew how much she really touched her fans and how much we will miss her."

Krystal R.
Age: 27
Los Angeles, California

"Whitney was a beautiful woman with one of the most gorgeous smiles I've ever seen. Her voice was angelic and uniquely incomparable to any other female artist I've heard. My most memorable performance was her 1991 National Anthem rendition at the Superbowl. The way she sung it in my estimation has never been sung like that before. It was technically pitch perfect and I was in total awe and that is still my reaction today. She was definitely before her time and it's sad that her life ended the way it did. It should serve as example of what happens when we consistently make damaging decisions in our lives. Fame and fortune can never fulfill the void of emptiness and lack of peace. She will be missed."

Jeremy M.
Age: 27
Whitsett, NC

Despite the ups and downs she faced throughout her lengthy career and her untimely death, Houston will always be remembered for her one of kind talent and ability to touch the souls of her fans with timeless hits. She has influenced numerous acts in the music industry and the legacy that she leaves behind will continue to live on for years to come through her family, friends and fans.

“Every Woman” is what she was and will always be; a sweet spirit that touched the hearts and souls of those who understand the essence of music. Instrumentals she did not need for her voice alone was more than enough to grab your attention and keep it.

Thanks to you Whitney Houston for leaving your everlasting footprint in the world of music.

Jaw-dropping statistics lead many of us to believe that the above statement rings true for all African American males. Education is not anywhere near the top of their list of priorities or even if it is apart of their lists at all. With high school dropout rates continuing to remain high and with sisters steadily out numbering them on college campuses, one would think there is no need to speak of Black men achieving at higher educational levels.

“School and Black men just don’t mix” is the thought that many people have grown to believe.

That may be true for some Black men but it was men like W.E.B. DuBois who put that theory up for question.

On February 23, 1868, William Edward Burghardt DuBois was born in the cold state of Massachusetts and unlike most African Americans at that time, DuBois didn’t experience the harsh racism that other Black people did as his family was accepted in the community. DuBois took advantage of his unusual situation, focusing on the one thing that he had full control over…His mind.

Not only did he attend college but he took his pursuit of higher education a step further and became the first African American to earn a doctorate degree from the prestigious Harvard University, the same institution that President Obama graduated from with a degree in law.

With all of the education that he received, W.E.B. DuBois decided that it was time he took on the teacher role becoming a professor at Atlanta University. Academics were of extreme importance to him but he never stopped fighting for the rights of African Americans, co-founding the NAACP and leading the Niagara Movement.

Numbers don’t lie and stats are straightforward. But they don’t solely determine the future of our young Black men. What will become of them is not based on these things alone. It all comes down to their determination, self drive to make something of yourself and become anything but the stereotype.

Are the odds against Black men excelling when it comes to education? Yes.

But are there those who defy the ignorance that is attached to our race? Yes.

DuBois did.

And so have the many educated brothers that have followed in his footsteps.

For weeks, much hype has been centered on the release of George Lucas’ latest production Red Tails, based on the true story of the Tuskegee Airmen of World War II. Lucas’ previous work including a countless number of Star Wars flicks, have earned him tons of praise, not to mention money, over the years. But exactly how well did he do with a movie based on something so instrumental to the progression of African Americans?

For starters, there is much that can be said about the actors who took on such powerful roles. Terrence Howard did an outstanding job, nailing his role as “Colonel Bullard”. With a touch of arrogance mixed with an abundance of confidence, Howard’s character, along with Major Stance (played by Cuba Gooding, Jr., who did an equally great job as Howard), reflected how African American males were given authoritative positions in the U.S. Army Air Corps. Though true, the movie still showed how they had to go above and beyond to prove themselves and those associated with them worthy individuals for true combat.

As for the tone of the movie, it was overall a serious one. The blatant racism during these times was evident in the film as the “N” word was dropped a time or two in addition to some “awkward situations” that the men experienced as well. Aside from the rather serious moments, there were a number of humorous moments too, fueled by funnymen, “Smokey”, “Lightning” and “Joker”, allowing the audience to let out a few laughs. Even with that being said, neither of those things took the audience’s attention away from the main focus of the story.

As educating the audience was the mission, Red Tails can be summed up in one word…Action.

Nearly two hours of action packed footage is what one should be prepared for. This movie was filled with it from scene to scene, with the occasion down time. The dull moments were held to a minimum. Not harshly graphic in nature, Red Tails was typical of most war-based films, capturing full fledged combat and the fatalities that went along with it.

Red Tails was a solid, updated film of the legendary story behind the courageous African American aviators from now Tuskegee University. Focusing in on the general history was not all this film did. It zeroed in on the racial discrimination that the men faced as well as the comradery and the brotherhood that these men shared.

For those who knew little about the Tuskegee Experiment, they will most definitely walk away with more knowledge than they came in with.

Red Tails had a healthy mixture of battle, historical references and humor and it was a wonderful break from the stereotypical roles that Black men tend to play in Hollywood movies, making it a must see film.

So much can be said about the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. His powerful speeches have been recited and replayed years after their deliveries, having the same impact on people that they had initially. And his extreme determination to create tranquility amongst people of all racial backgrounds, striving for equality for all mankind has never been overlooked. There is no doubt that Dr. King had a special gift that he continued to use up until his death in 1968.

Although he did not live a long life, the accomplishments of Dr. King were of such magnitude that we dedicate a day to him and what he did for our race.

MLK Day is used as a day to revisit the past and how Dr. King and other civil rights leaders came together to fight for a worthy cause, one that affected our well being tremendously.

As we celebrated MLK Day in various ways though, did you think to yourself: Can we really say that the dream that King had is now a reality?

“Dr. King was a visionary. He thought on levels that many of his peers did not, especially when it came to forming relationships with people of other races. To this day, some of us don’t necessarily believe in some of the things that he preached about but I feel as though what he was striving for was so positive and beneficial to our generation. As far as his dream actually coming true, I think we have made progress but we still have a long way to go”

Arianna B.
Age: 33
Boston, MA

“I believe that the dream is slowly becoming a reality. The election of President Obama led me to say that. What people need to keep in mind though is that his election didn’t 100% solidify progress for Black people as a whole. That’s why I used the word “slowly””

Troy W.
Age: 38
Portland, OR

“I don’t think the Dr. King’s vision has been fully brought to life for many reasons. Yes, we as African Americans have way more opportunities than we once had back in the day. We have better job opportunities now, we are able to receive higher forms of education and we are becoming president of the United States. But despite all those great things, we are still very much prejudged merely because of the color of our skin and are not granted the same things that other races are without having to work extra hard for them. As wonderful as his vision was, there will always be some things that we can’t change”

Maliyah D.
Age: 19
Milwaukee, WI

“Honestly, I think that Dr. King’s dream has been disrupted by the very ones that he was standing up for, African Americans. He wanted us all to live in peace and harmony, love one another. Are we doing that now though? Black on black crime continues to skyrocket and we don’t shy away from an opportunity to tear one another down. King spoke strongly on educational advancement for African Americans yet we are dropping out of high school left and right. Is it me or is something very wrong with this picture?”

Roderick R.
Age: 24
Atlanta, GA

Have we forgotten the struggle?

Or is King’s dream still in the process of being reached?

The life of an industry diva can be quite hectic at times. It’s almost unheard of for them, or any other star for that matter, to have one pathway that they are sticking to. Singers are not only going for Grammys anymore. They are striving for Academy Awards too as many of them have made their way into the acting game. When they choose to add to their resumes, it often leaves many of them with little free time on their hands for romance.

Singer Kelly Rowland admitted that her heart has been stolen but not by a handsome face and nice body. She has been swept off her feet by her career, which has kept her from settling down with a significant other.

“Most of the men find me too busy. Which is a real problem, because I like being busy,”

Droppin’ the mic for a man doesn’t seem to be something she is willing to do right now.

Rowland went on to say that she is quite content with devoting the majority of her time to her career.

“At the moment I'm in love with my job. But that doesn't bother me [because at least] my job doesn't nag.”

Rowland’s plate has been staying full here lately as her latest album “Here I Am” continues to get much airplay. She is also set to be one of the judges for the United Kingdom version of “The X Factor”.

Whenever she does have a chance to step back out on the dating scene, she knows exactly what she is looking for though.

“He has to be real and most of all he has to have confidence.”

2011 has come and gone with the quickness and a brand new year is now upon us. Way before it even arrived, many of us created these long, drawn out lists of resolutions, pinpointing things that we are going to do differently for the next 365. Our personal pledges to self-improvement include all sorts of things from losing massive amounts of weight to making drastic career changes.

We know hard work and dedication is much needed in order to meet any of these goals for success isn’t found overnight. Although these things are vital, the key to success doesn’t depend on those things alone. The key to you reaching your goals is God.

When we think of New Year’s Eve celebrations, a mixture of wild partying and large consumptions of alcohol comes to mind for many people. That is their way of ringing in the New Year. While the party goers are jam packed in a sweat box or on the streets of New York City, there are those who choose to bring in the New Year in a more spiritual way by attending watch night service at a local church. And what better way to bring in a year than in the house of the Lord.

Sound like a bash to those who don’t go to church on NYE?

It’s not because the very same people who went to a watch night service could not step foot in a church for the rest of the year. And a person who partied until the sun came up could be front and center for all of the remaining Sundays. Aside from the activities that people partake in on the eve of the New Year, some people eat certain things as a way to gain prosperity in the upcoming year.

A bowl of Mama’s black eyed peas and collards is all you need to make your pockets a little thicker or come up on some amazing string of good luck. The only thing that is doing is making your stomach thicker, not your wallet.

Whether we are the party crashers, the church-goers or the black eyed peas and collard greens eaters, the point is that in order to truly be fulfilled and prosperous in a new year, your life and all that you do has to be filled with God.

He is the one responsible for the “luck” that you have financially. He is the one that should be credited for the advancements that you make in your career. He is the one who provides you with the strength and willpower to reach your goals.

If you don’t start your year off with God, you should find a way to incorporate Him in the days that remain.

Your TRUE success and livelihood is counting on it.

Talented, educated and self-motivated…These are just a few words that describe our “Belle of the Month” Mrs. Ci Ci Foster. From writing her own books to dishing out relationship advice to those in need of it, Ci Ci has made her presence known in numerous areas and continues to take on more as her career progresses. Being the multi-talented person that she is, Ci Ci wears many hats and has told UBM about how she manages to balance all of them.

Urban Belle: Ci Ci, I see that you are a native of the Chicago area and you relocated to Los Angeles in the late 2000's to further pursue your career. How was that transition for you? Is Los Angeles like night and day compared to Chicago as far as the residents and living environment?

Ci Ci Foster: The transition was definitely a challenge. Moving the entire family across the country where we knew no one was a bit scary, but we were able to quickly acclimate ourselves into the LA lifestyle, and it’s so different from Chicago where I spent my entire life. LA has parties and events every night of the week, so there’s always something going on. In Chicago, people are more accustomed to working hard during the week and partying on the weekends. What I miss most about Chicago are the people. It’s one of those very friendly places where strangers will greet you as you pass them on the streets. That rarely happens in LA. I love both places in a different way.

Urban Belle: As a graduate of Chicago State University, you received your bachelor's degree in psychology. Was that always what you desired to get your degree in? Or had you considered majoring in theater, film or another related area?

Ci Ci Foster: Initially, I did want to get a BS in theater, but after giving it deep thought, I actually decided to take on theater as a minor to have something to fall back on. At the time, I was more of a person who always played it safe. If I had to do it all over again, I would have just went for it full speed ahead. If you don’t plan on failing, you wouldn’t need anything to fall back on.

Urban Belle: "Sunny Rain" was the debut novel that introduced Ci Ci Foster to world of published writers. How long did it take to complete it? What was that feeling like of having your very first book officially published?

Ci Ci Foster: It took me at least 5 years to complete Sunny Rain because I kept putting it down and then I’d pick it back up. Once I actually got serious about writing it though, things moved pretty quickly. I remember the first time I held my book in my hands, I cried. It was like all my hard work was finally starting to pay off. I’m still amazed at how great everything turned out.

Urban Belle: I know that was a wonderful feeling. In addition to being an author, you are also a relationship advice columnist. When giving your advice, do you ever feel like your own relationships (and even current marriage) were under close watch from your readers? Are people really looking to see if you follow your own advice?

Ci Ci Foster: I think anytime you offer people advice on relationships the first thing people are going to want to know is what is your marital status, and that’s a valid question. I mean, I won’t take relationship advice from anyone who doesn’t have their own house in order.

Urban Belle: That is so true; a lot of people feel that way. Giving relationship advice, even to a close friend or relative, can be challenging at times. Has there ever been a time when you were asked a question that you didn't quite know how to answer?

Ci Ci Foster: Not yet, but I’m sure as I do this long enough, someone will have a question that stumps me. I am fine with being honest and admitting when I don’t know something.

Urban Belle: In the entertainment industry, we see many husbands and wives working together like Beyonce' and Jay-Z and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. How has it been for you working with your husband with the production of "Digg Into Books"?

Ci Ci Foster: Working with my husband on Digg Into Books has definitely brought us closer together. I’d be lying though if I said every moment is bliss. LOL! There are times when we don’t see eye to eye on something and then go home and argue about it some more. But overall, working with him has been a great experience. We support each other 100% and challenge each other to produce the best work possible.

Urban Belle: Sound like you all are a great team. Now your documentary, "I Heart Hollywood", is about the struggles of 14 women that are attempting to break into the industry. What event or people inspired you to do this?

Ci Ci Foster: I became inspired to produce this documentary after moving to LA and seeing how hard it is to break into this industry. My production partner, Mashari Bain and I met through a mutual friend and discovered we had similar goals. The I Heart Hollywood project was our way of saying we don’t have to wait on Hollywood to hire us, we can create our own projects.

Urban Belle: Being a member of Cali Connect, you get the opportunity to interact with other authors, some of whom share your same passion for the craft of writing. Have you ever considered starting an organization of your own?

Ci Ci Foster: No, I’ve never considered starting my own group because I couldn’t commit the time needed to make it successful. I’ve met some really great people through the Cali-Connect group, and I’m looking forward to collaborating with them in the future.

Urban Belle: Working with at-risk teens, I'm sure you hear a lot of different stories about what these girls have gone through in their young lives. Other than giving educational advice, what is your overall message to these young girls?

Ci Ci Foster: I always try to open young girls’ eyes to the fact that they are more powerful than they know and that they can do anything they put their minds to. When young girls tell me they want to be a lawyer, I tell them to think about owning the law firm. It’s really important to teach kids to dream big and follow those dreams.

Urban Belle: I totally agree with you on that. Those who dream big are often the ones who find long term success. Back to your writing, the title of your upcoming book "Hollywoodn't" has me intrigued already. Can you give us a snippet of what to expect from this read?

Ci Ci Foster: Hollywoodn’t is about a rising actress named Nile who gets blackmailed by a scorned ex lover, Steve. He is fresh out of jail, armed with a sex tape of her, and things get really crazy when he stops taking his meds. Hollywoodn’t is so different from Sunny Rain, but it still has the “sexy drama” theme. I think the readers will enjoy it.

To learn more about Ci Ci and her upcoming projects, Click here.

Supermodel Tyra Banks has traveled down many different avenues in the fashion and entertainment industry. Posing in front of flashing cameras and taking trips down the Catwalk are things that Tyra knows ever so well and through America’s Next Top Model has strived to help aspiring models make a name for themselves in the competitive world of fashion. She has even held her ground well as a talk show host of a self-titled show. Her list keeps growing from year to year as she is constantly taking on new business ventures.

And now it is about to grow even more as it has been said that she is on the verge of launching a new wig line.

Banks’ inspiration came from her own personal encounters with her own hair. She has been said to be noticing changes in her hairline, which in turn is causing her to reveal her forehead more often:

“Tyra's hairline has been inching back over the last few years, showing more and more of her forehead,” -source to National Enquirer.

Perhaps a tad bit self conscious about pushing those bangs to the side, Tyra Banks still gives off the “I am woman hear me roar” vibe when speaking to her female audiences about their appearance, especially Black women.

“Kiss my fat ass” still ring a bell?

As an African American woman, Banks knows firsthand the negative comments that often come our way about our size, style of dress and our hair. Rockin’ your God-given mane was not an acceptable option for sisters. But now times are beginning to change as more and more Black women are saying no to the “creamy crack” in a bucket.

Her support for natural beauty is apparent as she has relieved her own hair from weaves. And with Banks’ upcoming wig line, it seems to be promoting doing less damage to your hair while still adding a little something extra to it.

The wig line release date is not set in stone at the moment.

The HBO series Sex And The City had women all over the globe glued to their TVs. Whether it was keeping up with the unpredictable relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big or hearing about the "friendly" yet stylish Samantha Jones’ sex tales, the show took hold of viewers’ attention and never let it go. It created such a buzz that a genius mind thought it would be an instant hit on the big screen and it was, so much that a sequel soon followed.

The fabulous four were not the only ones putting out a successful show as another group of women became some our favorite “friends”.

Since its very first airing back in 2000, Girlfriends has made a name for itself as the Sex And The City for the sisters. Picking up where the popular 90’s show Living Single left off, Girlfriends lasted for eight seasons making it one of the longest running sitcoms ever. Aside from the record-breaking numbers that it drew in, the one thing that many people applauded the show for was its realism; the realism behind the characters and the things that they went through.

As fanatics were not at all looking forward to its last episode, it still remains a topic of conversation, even amongst those who were once apart of the cast.

The former Joan Clayton, the motherly one of the bunch, has spoken out about her willingness to pursue Girlfriends beyond the sitcom arena.

On her recent appearance on The Wendy Williams Show, Actress Tracee Ellis Ross eluded to the fact that she wouldn’t mind taking the show a step further:

“I would love to do a 'Girlfriends' movie. I want to see Joan get married,”

She also longs to see Toni and Joan rekindle their damaged friendship too. It sounds like Joan is very much alive and well in Ross’ heart.

Be that as it may, Ross knows that the ultimate decision is not up to her:

“I think the fans have to ask for it,”

Could she be on to something here? Does Girlfriends have enough clout to make it to the big screen?

Reed Between The Lines may have her hands tied at the moment but I doubt that she would turn down the opportunity to do a movie like this.

I get the whole relationship scenario better now as a married woman. Perhaps it's because I've matured, figured out who I am, let go of some nasty old habits, and learned how to be content with myself. I haven't exhaled or written off black men, but I've grown and realized finally that most of my relationship troubles were because of...me.

Through a series of repeated bad decisions and an addiction to the wrong types of men, although mistreated and lied to, at some point after the lessons have been learned, a woman does bear some responsibilities.

The problem lies in the unfortunate fact that most of us believe that we must pay some sort of dues to land love, when love shouldn't unfairly require so much of one person, and so less of the other.

I can't take all the credit in my growth, however. 

I'm pretty sure all of my horrid relationships have much to do with the good relationship and marriage I'm in now. Yeah, sometimes it takes a bad thing to see a good thing a mile away, when before a good thing was a little boring and mistaken for merely a friend when up close and personal. And I'm quite sure any stable and mature human being can understand that our mistakes play a role in our pending blessings. But it's way too easy to confuse painful and necessary lessons with paying unnecessary dues with the most unnecessary people. To put it short and sweet, too many of us may feel we're just paying our much needed dues, but in reality, we're just wasting our time "re-learning" the same exact lessons.

We know that the relationship we tried to work on for three years just wasn't meant to be, but when we see that ex-douche-bag/boyfriend make it work with the other girl who we swear isn't all that cute, there's a sense of resentment that he somehow made it work with...someone so basic.

I mean seriously, we have the degree, successful career, impeccable wardrobe, we're gorgeous with a sick body, we throw down in the kitchen, dealt his bullsh-t for two years...and then he puts a ring on the chick that has half our credentials and only tolerated his dusty behind for 6 months?

It's not so much love as it is a sense of entitlement.

Immediately, we get salty. We paid our dues, and she just came along at the right time. The time when he finally decided to grow up and commit after he wouldn't commit to us. In most cases, he hasn't really changed, but the change in his relationship status is enough to blur our memory on just why he ain't all that to begin with.

Yeah it hurts just as badly as it did when we ended things and finally managed to walk away. But we can't forget that somewhere inside of what could have been is still what ISN'T and WILL NEVER BE. And that's just it:

Paying dues can't turn the wrong man into the right one. Relationships aren't easy, but none one of us were created to stay in relationships that were always meant to be short term. Staying where you shouldn't be is unhealthy, disastrous, and the quickest way to misery .

It's easy to forget what we have been through when we're still trying to get somewhere, but there's just no pay off for the woman still paying her dues in her mid 20s.

The female population is quite diverse wouldn’t you say? Our uniqueness in style of dress from the way that we rock our hair sets us apart from each other. Many positive things that you can say about us women. Now on to the not so positive things, or better yet differences between us women folk and one of the biggest is being lifestyles. Some of us are used to getting nice things every now and then from our significant others. A random delivery of flowers on the job or walking into your house with a home cooked meal waiting for you on the kitchen table. Most women would absolutely adore a man like this. Oh, but not an O.P.F. That’s minor to an Overly Pampered Female.

Don’t know what an O.P.F. is? Let me break it down for you.

An O.P.F. is woman that the cake, icing, the toppings. Hell, she wants everything on the dessert table. She wants it all and is not satisfied until she gets it.

The thousand dollar shopping sprees, the expensive dinners night after night; this sister asks and this sister gets. The first amendment in her eyes the right to spend and be pampered with no limits attached.

Who is to blame for this spoiled, “Money can buy my love” type of woman?

Their man of course; his mentality is to keep her happy at all cost, even if it means racking up overdraft fees in the process. It’s all about pleasing the O.P.F. She is used to glitz and glamour and her man will see to it that nothing has to change.

See, some women get used to a certain lifestyle. Some women are used to their man not being able to spend endless amounts of money on them and are very content with whatever he is able to do for them. On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who have grown quite fond of the “good life” that they have been living. Being overly pampered is not a privilege to them; it’s damn near a right. And if you try to take that right away from her, all hell will break loose. The attitude starts flarin’, the mouth starts runnin’ and most of all, the denial starts setting in.

They can’t quite grasp the fact that they can’t ball out like they used to because their man has suffered a pay cut or they have had that “pink slip delivery”. Things have totally changed for their family financially and buying a new pair of Louboutin shoes is not top priority on your man’s list.

Downsizing is the focus now. Trying to figure out how to pay the bills is the focus now. Bills first, Dooney and Burke, second.

The O.P.F.’s have a hard time understanding this though. “No” is a word that they have grown unfamiliar with and is non-existence in their vocabulary. And “broke” is one that they try to dodge like a bullet. Simplicity is a stretch and hard to stomach for them.

So until the men who are in relationships with them grow some serious balls, they will always be sure to catch a case of an O.P.F.

As believers in God and His word, many of us make it a point to attend church services on a regular basis. And like most church services, there is a lot praising going amongst members of the congregation. And it is done in many different ways. Some people praise God silently, praying quietly to themselves and speaking to Him privately. Others clap, shout and scream His praises to the top of their lungs for everyone around them to hear. The one thing that is always present in a church for the most part no matter how you give God the glory is music.

This music, just like the praising that goes on, is shown to us in many forms. Organs and drums being played in the background as the preacher reaches the peak of his sermon. And music from the choir, with them bellowing out moving gospel songs that touch the hearts of congregation’s members.

But what if that wasn’t the case though?

What if no song was ever sung by a single solitary person? Or no key was ever touched on a piano?

Would you still be able to praise God just the same, give Him the glory A capella?

Take a professional singer for example. Here is a person that can sing well when accompanied by music but sounds even better when the instrumental stops playing; all we hear is their natural melody. When they sing A capella, it is truly coming from the soul. It is coming from them and them alone.

Now relate this to the way you praise.

Uplifting His name with your voice alone is more than enough for God. He can hear your voice loud and clear, giving Him thanks for all that He has done for you and what He is on the verge of doing in your life. And He can recognize that with or without the music playing behind you.

Hearing music can increase the level of showing your love for God. A lot of worshippers will say that their spirits are moved just that much more when they hear a touching song being sung. As that may be true, praising God ultimately can be done with no background noise at all.

Your willingness to shout out your praises to the almighty may be fueled by music.

But when the piano stops playing and the voices of the choir members begin to fade, will your praising of God be just as strong?